A man never leaves the cards of any other man, nor does he assume any of the card-leaving duties incurred by the feminine members of his family. When calling on a lady's afternoon at home, the gentleman leaves one card for the hostess and one for the host on the card tray, on entering the house. Whether the host is at home or not, if the caller is acquainted with him, he must leave one of his cards for him, provided that the call is being made in return for some hospitality enjoyed. If there is a young daughter in the family with whom the caller is acquainted, a third card must be left.
A young man, calling at the home of a young lady, asks to see the ladies, meaning the mother or chaperon as well as the particular young lady herself. No well-mannered young man asks to see only one lady, when there are several others in the house. If the ladies are out, he may leave a sufficient number of cards for all of them, including one for the host or he may leave one card without explanation. If the ladies are in, he still leaves a card for the host on the hall table when he is departing.
When making his first or last call of the season, a man may leave one card for each one of the ladies and each one of the men of the household with whom he is acquainted. This holds true only when the call is made on the day at home, or on a Sunday afternoon or evening. The man who calls on a lady's day at home, and whose call has no reference to any social debts or obligations, leaves only one card—and if he is an intimate friend of the house where the call is made, he leaves no cards at all.
Men's social calls are few. Business affairs require most of their time, and the duty of card-leaving is generally given into the hands of a feminine relative—either mother, sister or wife. Married men invariably entrust their formal social duties to their wives, but single men must not take advantage of this privilege. It is all very well for a mother or sister to leave the cards of a son or brother who is busy at his office on the hostesses whose hospitality they enjoyed together. But when a young man is entertained by a hostess who is not on his mother's or sister's visiting list, it is very important for him to make his return calls in person. This is especially true in regard to dinner and ball hospitalities—they require immediate and cordial reciprocation in the matter of calls and card-leaving.
THE MAN'S CHANCE CALL
Unless the ladies are in the drawing-room, ready to receive, a man, upon making a chance call, sends up his card or cards to the people he wishes to see. If the servant who opens the door does not know whether or not the ladies are at home, or if she says that they are at home but not downstairs, the caller places his cards on the tray and waits in the drawing-room for the return of the servant.
If the call is made after a ball, dinner or theater party, and the young man is calling on the young ladies of the household, he sends up a card for each young lady, and also one for the mother or chaperon. If the call is made for the express purpose of seeing one particular young lady, a card must be sent up for her and for her mother or chaperon. Two cards are also required when a man calls upon a married couple, in whose name he has received some hospitality. He sends up one card for each.
After having called several times at a certain house, obviously for the purpose of seeing a young lady of the family and enjoying her society, it is no longer necessary to include the chaperon in the ceremony of card-leaving. [ [2] ] (See footnote.) One may send a card up only to the lady one wishes to see.
ABOUT LEAVING AND POSTING CARDS
When an invalid, elderly lady or woman in deep mourning desires to repay by some courtesy, calls made upon her or invitations received, she may leave cards at a door instead of paying a personal call, or sending them by post or messenger. A very busy hostess may employ the same means of returning a dinner call or first call that she owes a friend or acquaintance, especially if she is desirous of extending an invitation. Instead of leaving the card, she may even, for lack of time and opportunity, post it with an engraved or written invitation.