He quaintly suggests that Paracelsus, if he would ensure men against death, had but to inoculate them with gout. Gout, indeed, was held to be a jealous disorder, intolerant of usurpation by any other disease, recalling the remark of Posthumus to his gaolers:—
“Yet am I better
Than one that’s sick o’ the Gout: since he had rather
Groan so in perpetuity, than be cur’d
By the sure physician, death: who is the key
To unbar these locks.”
Cymbeline.
Still the fallacy that gout was salutary died hard, and although it seems incredible, yet, Archbishop Sheldon is said not only to have longed for gout but actually to have offered £1,000 to any one who would procure him this blessing; for he regarded gout as “the only remedy for the distress in his head.” How ingrained the notion may be gathered from the fact that in the early part of the last century, M. Coste in his “Traité Pratique de la Goutte,” observed: “A popular error, which I wish to expose in a few words, is this prejudice, which has already lasted more than two thousand years, and which has reached even the thrones of princes, where the disease commonly shows itself, viz., that gout prolongs life (que la goutte prolonge la vie). This error,” says he, “has taken the surest method of introducing itself, by making flattering promises, by persuading its victims that there is a singular advantage in having gout, and that the malady drives away all other evils, and that it ensures long life to those whom it attacks.”
In like refrain, our own countryman Heberden deplores that people “are neither ashamed nor afraid of it; but solace themselves with the hope that they shall one day have the gout; or, if they have already suffered it, impute all their other ails, not to having had too much of that disease, but to wanting more. The gout, far from being blamed as the cause, is looked up to as the expected deliverer from these evils.” Such deluded views being prevalent, it is hardly a matter for surprise that misguided persons deliberately courted a “fit of the gout” by resorting to excess and intemperance.
But alas, while the initial visitations of gout, after their passing, may leave behind them a renewed sense of well-being, it is no less certain that, when once installed, the intervals of respite grow shorter and shorter. Crippledom grows apace, the general health breaks and untimely senescence overtakes the worn-out victim, and, as Heberden puts it, “that gout causes premature death, when all the comforts of life ...