But how great is your munificence, O Emperor, who deem it not sufficient to have adorned the pontiff, unless you adorn all the clergy also! As an “eminence of distinguished power and excellence,” [See Latin page] you say, they are “made patricians and consuls.” Who has ever heard of senators or other men being made patricians? Consuls are “made,” but not patricians. The senators, the conscript fathers, are from patrician (also called senatorial), equestrian, or plebeian families as the case may be. It is greater, also, to be a senator than to be a patrician; for a senator is one of the chosen counsellors of the Republic, while a patrician is merely one who derives his origin from a senatorial family. So one who is a senator, or of the conscript fathers, is not necessarily forthwith also a patrician. So my friends the Romans are now making themselves ridiculous when they call their praetor “senator,” since a senate cannot consist of one man and a senator must have colleagues, and he who is now called “senator” performs the function of praetor. But, you say, the title of patrician is found in many books.[480] Yes; but in those which speak of times later than Constantine; therefore the “privilege” was executed after Constantine.
But how can the clergy become consuls?[481] The Latin clergy have denied themselves matrimony; and will they become consuls, make a levy of troops, and betake themselves to the provinces allotted them with legions and auxiliaries? Are servants and slaves made consuls? And are there to be not two, as was customary; but the hundreds and thousands of attendants who serve the Roman church, are they to be honored with the rank of general? And I was stupid enough to wonder at what was said about the Pope’s transformation! The attendants will be generals; but the clergy soldiers. Will the clergy become soldiers or wear military insignia, unless you share the imperial insignia with all the clergy? [I may well ask,] for I do not know what you are saying. And who does not see that this fabulous tale was concocted by those who wished to have every possible license in the [See Latin page] attire they were to wear? If there are games of any kind played among the demons which inhabit the air I should think that they would consist in copying the apparel, the pride and the luxury of the clergy, and that the demons would be delighted most by this kind of masquerading.
Which shall I censure the more, the stupidity of the ideas, or of the words? You have heard about the ideas; here are illustrations of his words. He says, “It seems proper for our Senate to be adorned” (as though it were not assuredly adorned), and to be adorned forsooth with “glory.” And what is being done he wishes understood as already done; as, “we have proclaimed” for “we proclaim”: for the speech sounds better that way. And he puts the same act in the present and in the past tense; as, “we decree,” and “we have decreed.” And everything is stuffed with these words, “we decree,” “we decorate,” “imperial,” “imperial rank,” “power,” “glory.” He uses “extat” for “est,” though “extare” means to stand out or to be above; and “nempe” for “scilicet” [that is, “indeed” for “to wit”]; and “concubitores” [translated above, bed-watchers] for “contubernales” [companions or attendants]. “Concubitores” are literally those who sleep together and have intercourse; they must certainly be understood to be harlots. He adds those with whom he may sleep, I suppose, that he may not fear nocturnal phantoms.[482] He adds “chamberlains”; he adds “door-keepers.”
It is not an idle question to ask why he mentions these details. He is setting up, not an old man, but a ward or a young son, and like a doting father, himself arranges for him everything of which his tender age has need, as David did for Solomon! And that the story may be filled in in every respect, horses are given the clergy,—lest they sit on asses’ colts in that asinine way of Christ’s! And they are given horses, not covered nor saddled with coverings of white, but decorated with white color. And what coverings! Not horse-cloths, either Babylonian or any other kind, but “mappulae” [translated above, saddle-cloths] and [See Latin page] “linteamina” [linen cloths or sheets, translated above, linen]. “Mappae” [serviettes] go with the table, “linteamina” with the couch. And as though there were doubt as to their color, he explains, “that is to say, of the whitest color.” Talk worthy of Constantine; fluency worthy of Lactantius; not only in the other phrases, but also in that one, “may mount mounts”!
And when he had said nothing about the garb of senators, the broad stripe, the purple, and the rest, he thought he had to talk about their shoes; nor does he specify the crescents [which were on their shoes], but “socks,” or rather he says “with felt socks,” and then as usual he explains, “that is, with white linen,” as though socks were of linen! I cannot at the moment think where I have found the word “udones” [socks], except in Valerius Martial, whose distich inscribed “Cilician Socks” runs:
“Wool did not produce these, but the beard of an ill-smelling goat.
Would that the sole in the gulf of the Cinyps might lie.”[483]
So the “socks” are not linen, nor white, with which this two-legged ass says, not that the feet of senators are clad, but that senators are distinguished.
And in the phrase “that the terrestrial orders may be adorned to the glory of God, just as the celestial,” what do you call celestial, what terrestrial? How are the celestial orders adorned?[484] You may have seen what glory to God this is. But I, if I believe anything, deem nothing more hateful to God and to the rest of humanity than such presumption of clergy in the secular sphere. But why do I attack individual items? Time would fail me if I should try, I do not say to dwell upon, but to touch upon them all.
“Above all things, moreover, we give permission to the blessed Sylvester and his successors, from our edict, that he may make priest whomever he wishes, according to his own pleasure and counsel, and enroll him in the pious number of the religious clergy [See Latin page] [i.e., regular clergy; or perhaps cardinals]: let no one whomsoever presume to act in a domineering way in this.”[485]