The Green Forest Fairy Book

by Loretta Ellen Brady

Once upon a time, in a splendid palace on the top of a high hill, there dwelled a very old king and his wife, who was likewise a very old queen. Now this royal old couple lived in great state and luxury. Their diamond crowns glittered and sparkled like the sunbeams on a summer sea; and their trailing velvet robes were so thickly embroidered with gold that they stood alone. This very old king and his wife, the very old queen, had a coach of gold and glass drawn by eight white horses in silver harness. But with all this splendor and magnificence, this royal old couple were not happy or contented. Indeed they were called Queen Grumpy and King Crosspatch, which names were most suitable, for they were discontented and disagreeable as the day was long.

Queen Grumpy fretted because she had a hundred ladies-in-waiting. She said they bothered her. King Crosspatch scolded and sulked because Lord High Chancellor would not permit him to smoke a briarwood pipe. They both declared their diamond crowns gave them a headache, and they were tired of their trailing velvet robes. Queen Grumpy and King Crosspatch refused to ride in their royal coach of gold and glass. The eight white horses trotted too swiftly and shook their old bones about. So this very old king and this very old queen went afoot; but even so, they complained and scolded because all the roads about the palace led either up a hill or down, and they puffed and panted for breath before their walk was done.

Now often and often at sunset, as they rested on their way up the high hill, Queen Grumpy and King Crosspatch looked with longing on a certain snug little cottage down in the valley. Within this snug little cottage lived a very old man and his very old wife. They were peasants. There were rows and rows of sunflowers and hollyhocks before this snug little cottage and behind, while to the left and right stretched green pastures thick with blackberry vines.

"Ah, my dear!" King Crosspatch would sigh, as he watched the old man at work. "How pleasant it must be to live in such a snug little cottage. That old man goes every evening to fetch the cows. How I wish I were that old man!"

"Indeed, yes!" Queen Grumpy would reply with an answering sigh. "How I wish I were that old woman. She goes about from morning until night, so brisk and blithe. She can bake bread and churn butter herself; she is not bothered with a hundred ladies-in-waiting as I am."

Now most remarkable to tell, often as Queen Grumpy and King Crosspatch gazed thus longingly at the little cottage so snug, and wished themselves the old man and the old woman, the old man and the old woman gazed just as longingly on the splendid palace and wished themselves King Crosspatch and Queen Grumpy. For if you will believe me, this old man and his old wife were a most discontented couple too!

So it happened one evening, when Queen Grumpy and King Crosspatch were walking down the hill, they met the old man and his old wife climbing up. So while they sat to rest on a stone stile, these four discontented old folk fell to talking.

"Ah!" exclaimed King Crosspatch to the old man, "I have often watched you fetch the cows home from pasture in the evening, and what fun it seems, to be sure! Then you often go a-berrying too. You should be very happy."

"Indeed, Your Royal Highness, I am not!" replied the old man with bitter feeling. "I am tired of fetching cows, and I would like to sit still all day with folded hands. I often wish I were you. As for going a-berrying; I go only because I am so fond of blackberry pie. There's one for my supper to-night," he added, and smacked his lips with relish. And then, oh, how King Crosspatch envied the old man! King Crosspatch had longed to eat blackberry pie all his life, but the court physician would not permit such ordinary food on the royal table. So the poor old king had never had even a taste of a blackberry pie.

"And you too," said Queen Grumpy to the old woman, "you should be very happy. You loop your dress above your red flannel petticoat and trot round all day, baking bread and churning butter. You have nothing ever to vex or worry you."