(Baden, August 23, 1823, to his nephew Karl.)
THE SUFFERER
216. “Compelled to be a philosopher as early as my 28th year;—it is not an easy matter,—more difficult for the artist than any other man.”
(October 6, 1802; the Heiligenstadt Will.)
217. “Compelled to contemplate a lasting malady, born with an ardent and lively temperament, susceptible to the diversions of society, I was obliged at an early date to isolate myself and live a life of solitude.”
(From the same.)
218. “It was impossible for me to say to others: speak louder; shout! for I am deaf. Ah! was it possible for me to proclaim a deficiency in that one sense which in my case ought to have been more perfect than in all others, which I had once possessed in greatest perfection, to a degree of perfection, indeed, which few of my profession have ever enjoyed?”
(From the same.)
219. “For me there can be no recreation in human society, refined conversation, mutual exchange of thoughts and feelings; only so far as necessity compels may I give myself to society,—I must live like an exile.”