In consideration of this important service, the Romans conferred peculiar privileges on women. In capital cases, they were exempted from the jurisdiction of ordinary judges; no immodest language or behavior was allowed in their presence; every one was ordered to give way to them in the street; and a festival was instituted in their honor, called Matronalia, during which they served their slaves at table, and received presents from their husbands.
Three kinds of marriage were in use among the Romans, called confarreatio, coemptio, and usus. The first was established by Romulus, and was the most solemn, as well as the most ancient. A priest, in the presence of at least ten witnesses, pronounced certain words, and sacrificed to the gods a cake made of salt, water, and wheat-flour. The bride and bridegroom ate of this cake, to signify the union which ought to bind them. This manner of celebrating marriage made a wife the partner of all her husband’s substance, and gave her a right to share in the peculiar sacred rites attached to his family. If he died intestate, and without children, she inherited his whole fortune, as a daughter; if he left children, she shared equally with them. If she committed any fault, the husband judged of it in presence of her relations, and punished her at pleasure. Sometimes when women were publicly condemned by law, the penalty was left to the judgment of her husband and relations. The priests of Jupiter were chosen from sons born of this kind of marriage, and the vestal virgins were selected from the daughters.
The coemptio, or mutual purchase, consisted of the bride and bridegroom’s giving each other pieces of money. The man asked the woman, “Are you willing to be the mistress of my family?” She answered, “I am willing;” and then asked him a similar question, to which he replied in the same manner. According to some authors it was accompanied with the same ceremonies, and conferred the same privileges, as the other form of marriage; and it continued in use a long time after confarreatio was out of date.
That which was called usus, or usage, was when a woman, with consent of her parents or guardians, lived a whole year with a man, without being absent from his house three nights. She thus became his wife, and is supposed to have had the same rights and privileges as other wives; but if absent three nights, she was said to have annulled the contract.
No young man was allowed to marry before he was fourteen, and no girl before she was twelve. A man sixty years old was not permitted to marry a woman younger than fifty; and if he was more than sixty, he could not marry a woman of fifty.
Brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, and cousin-germans, were not permitted to marry each other. For some time it was contrary to law for a patrician to marry a plebeian; but this continued only about five years.
All alliances with women of blemished reputation, or low extraction, were considered dishonorable. No marriage of a Roman with a foreigner could be legal, unless express permission had been first obtained from the government. Cicero even reproached Anthony for marrying Fulvia, because her father was a freed-man. A law was, however, passed, by which only senators, their sons, and grandsons, were forbidden to marry a freed-woman, an actress, or the daughter of an actor. Finally the right of citizenship was granted to all inhabitants of countries belonging to the Roman empire, and the stigma attached to foreign alliances was removed.
Neither sons nor daughters could marry without their father’s approbation. The mother’s consent was usually asked as a matter of propriety, though there was no legal restriction to that effect.
When the consent of parents had been obtained, the relatives held a meeting to settle the articles of contract, which were written and sealed, in presence of witnesses. They broke a straw, according to their custom in making bargains; hence it was called stipulation, from stipula, a straw. This occasion was usually celebrated by a feast, during which the bridegroom made presents to the bride, and gave her a ring, that in early times was plain, and made of iron, but afterwards of gold. It was worn on the fourth finger of the left hand, on account of the idea that a vein went from that finger to the heart. Some of these bridal rings were made of brass or copper, with the figure of a key, to signify that the husband delivered her the keys of his house. Some of them have been found bearing devices; such as I love you. I wish you a happy life. Love me. If, after the espousals, either party wished to retract, they could do so, by observing certain forms.
The marriage portion varied according to the wealth and rank of the parties. It was delivered in money, or secured upon lands; and was paid at three terms fixed by law. The husband was not permitted to alienate it; and in case of divorce, except it took place by his wife’s fault, her relations could reclaim it. If any citizen caused a woman to lose her fair fame, he was obliged to marry her without a portion, or give her one proportioned to her rank. In the first days of the republic, dowries were very small. The senate gave the daughter of Scipio about £35 10s.; and one Megullia was surnamed Dotata, or the Great Fortune, because she had £161 7s. 6d. sterling. But as wealth increased, the marriage portions became greater, until eight or nine thousand pounds sterling was the usual dowry of women of high rank. Seneca says, “The sum that the senate thought sufficient dowry for the daughter of Scipio, would not now suffice even the daughters of our freed-men to buy a mirror.”