No marriage took place without first consulting the auspices, and sacrificing to the gods, especially to Juno, who presided over matrimonial engagements. Like the Greeks, they took the gall from the victims, and threw it behind the altar.
Certain days and festivals were regarded as unlucky for a wedding; particularly those marked in the calendar with black; but widows might marry on those days. The whole month of May was regarded as unfortunate for marriage, and the middle of June peculiarly auspicious. The ceremony was performed at the house of the bride’s father, or nearest relation. She was dressed in a long white robe bordered with purple, and fastened with a girdle made of wool. Her hair was divided into six locks with the point of a spear, and crowned with a wreath of vervain gathered by herself. Her face was covered with a flame-colored veil, and she wore high shoes of the same color. In the evening, she was conducted to her husband’s house. She was taken apparently by force from the arms of her mother, or nearest female relative, in memory of the Sabine women seized by Roman soldiers. Three boys, who had parents living, attended upon her; one supporting each arm, and the third walking before her with a lighted flambeau. Relations and friends eagerly sought to carry away this torch, when they came near the bridegroom’s house; partly on account of some peculiar virtue it was supposed to possess, and partly for fear it should be made use of for some fascination, that would shorten the lives of the young couple.
A young slave followed the bride, carrying, in a covered vase, her toilet, and corals, and children’s playthings of all kinds, accompanied by maidens, bearing distaff, spindle, and wool. A great train of relations and friends attended the nuptial procession. The door of the bridegroom’s house was adorned with festoons, garlands of flowers, and lists of woollen, rubbed with oil, and the fat of swine or wolves, to avert enchantments. When the bride arrived thither, being asked who she was, she answered, “Caia.” This custom was taken from the name of Caia Cœcilia, generally called Tanaquil; and the bride’s answer implied that she intended to imitate such a good and industrious wife. She then bound the door-posts of her bridegroom with woollen fillets, likewise anointed with oil, and the fat of swine or wolves; from this circumstance the Latin word for wife is uxor, which signifies the anointer; and our word uxorious is thence derived.
The bride was gently lifted over her husband’s threshold; for it was reckoned a bad omen to touch it with her feet, because the threshold was sacred to Vesta, who presided over female purity.
As soon as she entered, they sprinkled her with water, and delivered the keys of the house, to show that she was intrusted with the management of the family; and a sheep-skin was spread before her, indicating that she was to work in wool. Both she and her husband were required to touch fire and water; and with the water their feet were afterward bathed. In the early ages they put a yoke about the neck of the young couple, as an emblem of the mutual assistance they were expected to render each other in the cares and duties of life. The Latin word conjugium, a yoke, is the origin of our word conjugial. The bridegroom feasted the relations, friends, and attendants of himself and bride. He was placed at the head of the table, and the bride was laid in his bosom. The feast was distinguished for the abundance, variety, and delicacy of the refreshments. It was accompanied with music. The guests sung to the honor of the newly married an epithalamium, beginning and ending with acclamations, in which was often repeated the name of Thalassius. The following circumstance is supposed to have been the origin of this custom: when the Sabine women were forcibly carried to the Roman camp, one of them, very remarkable for her youthful beauty, attracted so much attention, that quarrels were likely to ensue concerning her. The men who carried her, wishing to avoid any such contention, thought of exclaiming aloud that they were carrying her to Thalassius, a handsome and brave young man, exceedingly beloved by the people. As soon as this was proclaimed, the soldiers withdrew all opposition, and rent the air with acclamations of the hero’s name. The marriage thus prepared for Thalassius proved so happy and prosperous, that the Romans ever after, in their epithalamia, were accustomed to wish the newly-married pair a destiny like his.
The bride was conducted to her apartment by matrons, who had been married to only one husband. The bridegroom scattered nuts among the boys, and the bride consecrated her dolls and playthings to Venus, thereby intimating that they relinquished the sports of childhood. When the guests departed, small presents were distributed among them.
Next day another entertainment was given, when presents were sent to the bride by relations and friends, and she performed certain sacred rites appropriate to the mistress of a family. The goods which a woman brought her husband beside her dowry were called bona paraphernalia.
Daughters generally received the name of their father, or some relation, varied only by ending according to the feminine instead of the masculine gender: thus Hortensia was the daughter of Hortensius; and the two daughters of Mark Antony were named Antonia Major, and Antonia Minor. By way of endearment they frequently made use of those diminutives, to which the language of Italy owes so much of its gracefulness; thus the beloved daughter of Tullius Cicero was called Tulliola. In a numerous family, girls were often distinguished from each other by the diminutives of numbers; as Secundilla, and Quartilla, the Second and the Fourth. At marriage, a woman retained her original name with the addition of her husband’s; thus Cornelia, the wife of Sempronius Gracchus, was called Cornelia Sempronia.
The birth of children was celebrated by a domestic festival, during which the gates were adorned with branches, garlands, and lamps, and a piece of money was deposited in the temple of Juno Lucina, whose office corresponded to the Eleutho of the Grecians. Boys received the family name on the ninth day after birth, and girls on the eighth; but they did not give the prænomen, or, as we should say, the baptismal name, until they took the virile robe, which marked their entrance into manhood; and girls did not receive it till they were married.
Romulus introduced the Spartan custom of exposing all sickly and deformed children; with this restriction, that every child should be nourished three years, in order to try whether it would not, in that interval, attain health and vigor. In later times, this prohibition was disregarded, and the custom of exposing infants became very common.