The habits and employments of fashionable circles are nearly the same throughout Christendom; the general tone of their manners is taken from the French and English, and is sometimes a compound of both. Their infants are almost always nourished and taken care of by hired nurses. The fashion of dress, which varies more rapidly than the changing seasons, is an all-absorbing object of interest. The time that is not spent with mantuamakers, milliners, jewellers, and dressing maids, is devoted to parties, morning calls, and amusements, with an occasional exertion of ingenuity in some light fancy-work. Many of the court ladies of Bavaria are said to have no other employment than changing their dresses many times a day, and playing with their numerous parrots, dogs, and cats. But in every country there are among the wealthy classes honorable exceptions to these remarks—women who appear with elegance, without suffering dress to engross their thoughts, and who can find time for the graceful courtesies of life, without neglecting the cultivation of their minds, or the care of their children. In recent times, it is very common for ladies to form societies for various charitable purposes. Women of different nations sometimes unite their efforts for the same object; thus the English ladies joined with the German, to support the numerous Saxon orphans, who lost their parents in the wars of 1813. Sometimes the members of such societies busy themselves, for months together, in preparing useful and elegant articles, and afterwards sell them at a fair, which their friends and acquaintances are, of course, generally desirous to attend.
In many parts of Europe the peasantry do not change their style of dress in the course of centuries; but each of the innumerable districts has a fashion peculiar to itself. They are distinguished from the same classes of women in Asia, by going with their faces uncovered, and almost universally dressing modestly high in the neck. Among the wealthy, female decorum is often sacrificed on the altar of unblushing fashion.
Beautiful hair is now, as it always has been, considered the greatest external ornament of woman; and it is one with which the poor are often endowed, as well as the rich. An Oxfordshire lass, with remarkably beautiful hair, was courted by a young man, whose friends objected to the match, unless the girl’s parents would bestow fifty pounds as a dowry. She went to London, sold her hair to a wig-maker for sixty pounds, and triumphantly returned with the requisite sum. The daughter of an English clergyman, who had left his family in poverty, sold her own rich profusion of glossy ringlets, to buy books for her brother in college. A poor young German girl, who lived at service, had very long auburn hair, so remarkable for its beauty, that wealthy ladies repeatedly offered her large sums for it. She could never be persuaded to part with it; but when, during the grievous wars of 1812 and 13, she saw the rich and the noble giving their jewels for the relief of poor soldiers, her shining tresses “of brown in the shadow, and gold in the sun,” were silently and cheerfully laid on the altar of patriotism. Who, after this, will say that beautiful hair, or any other outward adorning, is the greatest ornament of woman?
The Catholics, Lutherans, and Episcopalians, usually celebrate their marriages in church. Pope Innocent the Third is said to have been the first who instituted this custom. Centuries ago, the ceremony was performed at the door of the church, as if the interior of the building were too holy for the purpose; but now the young couple kneel before the altar, to receive their nuptial benediction. The Catholics consider marriage as one of the sacraments.
During the time of Cromwell, the Puritans, in their zeal to change all popish customs, good or bad, ordered that marriages should be performed by magistrates, instead of priests; but the old custom was restored by Charles, and though marriages under the previous law were declared valid, many were so scrupulous about the sanction of the church, that they were re-married by clergymen. The Roman Catholic clergy are still required to live in celibacy, unless the pope grants them an especial license to take a wife; and great numbers, both of men and women, seclude themselves in convents, from the idea that there is a peculiar sanctity in single life. In the Greek church, women under fifty years of age are not allowed to become nuns; their priests are required to marry, but in case of a wife’s death are never permitted to marry again. Among the Protestants, I believe there is but one sect, who consider matrimony unholy: the Shakers even require husband and wife to separate when they join their community.
The wedding ceremonies vary in particulars, in different nations and districts, but there is a general resemblance between all the Christian forms. The intention of marriage is proclaimed in the church, on three successive public days, in order that any one who has legal objections to the match, may have an opportunity to make them known. When the bride and bridegroom stand before the altar, the priest says to the man, “Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love, honor, and comfort her, and keep her in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?” The bridegroom answers, “I will.” The same question is then asked of the bride, excepting that she is required to “obey and serve,” as well as “love and honor.” Then her father, or guardian, giveth her to the bridegroom, who takes her by the right hand, saying, “I take thee, ——, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.” The bride then takes him by the right hand and repeats the same form, with the addition of the word “obey.” The bridegroom then puts a golden ring on the fourth finger of her left hand, saying, “With this ring I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow; in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.” They then kneel before the altar, while the priest utters a prayer for their temporal and eternal welfare; at the close of which, he joins their hands together, saying, “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” Among many of the Protestant sects, weddings are not celebrated in the church, but at the house of the bride’s father, or some near relation. The members of the society of Friends have neither priest nor magistrate to officiate at the ceremony. The bride and bridegroom take each other by the hand, and make the required vows to each other, in presence of the congregation and the elders; a public record of the transaction is made, and attested by witnesses. This society do not allow their members to marry individuals of a different creed. In some parts of Switzerland, a marriage between a Protestant and a Catholic is illegal.
It is a general idea that white is the most proper color for a bridal dress. Garlands and bouquets of orange-buds, and other purely white blossoms, are almost universally worn; and pearls are considered the most appropriate jewels. In Holland, the apartment in which the bride habitually resides, and all the furniture in it, are decorated with garlands; every thing belonging to the bridegroom, even his pipe and tobacco box, is adorned in the same manner; and a triumphal arch is erected before the house, or festoons suspended at the entrance. Among the Tyrolese, and in several other parts of Europe, it is customary for the young couple to be escorted to church by a gay procession, wearing flowers and ribbons, dancing, playing on instruments of music, and firing pistols by the way. A part of Bohemia, called Egra, seems to be the only place where a wedding is not considered an occasion of rejoicing. There it would be deemed indecorous for the bride to appear in white garments, or adorn herself with jewels and flowers. She wears her usual black dress, with a cloak of the same color, with a rosary in one hand, and in the other a veil, with which to cover her during the ceremony. In this dismal attire, she demurely proceeds to church, attended by relations, who preserve the utmost solemnity of countenance.
In Lapland, it is death to marry a girl without consent of her friends. When a young man proposes marriage, the friends of both parties meet to witness a race between them. The girl is allowed at starting the advantage of a third part of the race; if her lover does not overtake her, it is a penal offence for him ever to renew his offers of marriage. If the damsel favors his suit, she may run hard at first, to try his affection, but she will be sure to linger before she comes to the end of the race. Thus no marriages are made contrary to inclination, and this is the probable reason of so much domestic contentment in Lapland.
In the cold climates of Lapland and Iceland, the bride, instead of garlands, wears a crown of silver gilt. In Russia, the priest places silver crowns on the heads of both the young couple; at the marriages of people of rank, these crowns are held over their heads by attendants. In some districts, the peasant bride wears a wreath of wormwood; and in that country of perpetual flagellation, it is an appropriate emblem of her unhappy lot. After the nuptial benediction is pronounced, it is likewise customary to throw a handful of hops on her head, with the wish that she may prove as fruitful as that vine. In some Russian villages, it is customary, before the bridal procession go to church, for a choir of young girls to chant this epithalamium: “A falcon flies in pursuit of a dove. Charming dove, are you ready? Your mate is come to seek you.” The bride timidly answers, “Yes;” and the procession moves forward. After the wedding ceremony is performed, the bridegroom has a right to give his bride “the kiss of love,” holding her by the ears. The Sclavonian women, for a week previous to their marriage, are expected to kiss every man who visits them, in token of general respect and friendship for the sex. Some nations consider the ceremony of betrothal nearly as solemn as that of marriage. Among the Tyrolese, the father of the lover proceeds to the house of the beloved, accompanied by his younger sons, carrying baskets of honey-comb and aromatic plants. When he arrives, she and all her friends rise and salute him. “Welcome, my friend,” says the head of the family; “what brings thee among us?” He replies, “As thou art a father, let me put a question to thy daughter.” He then steps up to the maiden, kisses her forehead, and says: “God bless thee, lovely girl, who remindest me of the days of my youth. I have a son; he loves thee. Wilt thou make my declining years happy?” If the damsel is too much embarrassed to reply, her mother, who is the confidant of her sentiments, answers for her. The young man is then introduced, and receives a kiss from his new parents, and his future bride. Sometimes, in order to try the sincerity of their son’s attachment, the old people will not allow him to be formally betrothed to the object of his choice, till he has made a tour into Switzerland, Bavaria, or Italy, to sell some of the productions of the country. “Go, earn thy wife,” say they; “a good husband must be able to earn bread for his family.” The lover almost invariably returns unchanged, bringing the proceeds of his industry, with the ribbons still waving from his hat, which had been placed there by the idol of his heart.
In some parts of Russia young people are solemnly betrothed, in presence of their families. A garment of skin is spread on the ground, and the young people kneel upon it. When they have interchanged rings, the girl’s father places on their heads one of the household saints, and pronounces a blessing. In former times, he gave his daughter a few smart strokes of the whip, and then delivered the instrument of punishment to his future son-in-law, to signify that he transferred authority to him; but this brutal custom is now abolished. Russian husbands were formerly intrusted with power of life and death over their wives and children; but this law is ameliorated. In Scotland and some other parts of Great Britain, lovers, when they plight their troth to each other, break a small coin, and each one wears half of it next the heart.