So much for that. To recur to old topics. As for the point of your exhortation, which is more important than anything else about which you are concerned—that I may satisfy even my carping Ligurian critic[[192]]—may I die, if conduct could be more fastidious than mine. I am not going to talk of continence, a quality
[189]. Or “noble in his own class” (i.e. a good soldier), or “a noble of his own kidney,” with a play on Asinius and asinus.
[190]. Dec. 19.
[191]. 12,000,000 sesterces.
[192]. Probably P. Aelius Ligur, who sided against Cicero at the time of his banishment.
resistere videtur. Ego in vita mea nulla umquam voluptate tanta sum adfectus, quanta adficior hac integritate, nee me tam fama, quae summa est, quam res ipsa delectat. Quid quaeris? fuit tanti. Me ipse non noram nee satis sciebam, quid in hoc genere facere possem. Recte πεφύσημαι. Nihil est praeclarius. Interim haec λαμπρά. Ariobarzanes opera mea vivit, regnat; ἐν παρόδῳ consilio et auctoritate et, quod insidiatoribus. eius ἀπρόσιτον me, non modo ἀδωροδόκητον praebui, regem regnumque servavi. Interea e Cappadocia ne pilum quidem. Brutum abiectum, quantum potui, excitavi; quem non minus amo quam tu, paene dixi, quam te. Atque etiam spero toto anno imperii nostri terruncium sumptus in provincia nullum fore.
Habes omnia. Nunc publice litteras Romam mittere parabam. Uberiores erunt, quam si ex Amano misissem. At te Romae non fore! Sed est totum in eo, quid Kalendis Martiis futurum sit. Vereor enim, ne, cum de provincia agetur, si Caesar resistet, nos retineamur. His tu si adesses, nihil timerem.
Redeo ad urbana, quae ego diu ignorans ex tuis iucundissimis litteris a. d. V Kal. Ianuarias denique cognovi. Eas diligentissime Philogenes, libertus tuus, curavit perlonga et non satis tuta via perferendas.
connoting resistance of pleasure: for nothing in my life has given me more pleasure than this rectitude. And it is not so much the enhancement of my reputation, though that is important, as the exercise of the virtue that delights me. I can tell you my exile has been worth while, for I did not understand myself nor realize of what I was capable in this line. I may well be puffed up. It is splendid. Meantime I have made a coup in this: it is thanks to me that Ariobarzanes lives and reigns a king. In my progress through the province I have saved a king and a kingdom by the weight of my advice and official position and by refusing to entertain even the visits much less the bribes of conspirators against him. Meantime from Cappadocia not the value of a hair. I stirred up Brutus out of his dejection as much as I could. I love him as well as you do. I had almost said as well as I do you. And I hope that during the whole of my year of office there will not be a penny’s expense in my province.
That is the whole story. I am now preparing to send an official despatch to Rome. It will be richer in detail than if I had sent it from Amanus. But fancy your not being in town! Everything hangs on what happens on the 1st of March, for I fear, when the question of the provinces is under debate, that I may be kept here, if Caesar refuses to give up his province. Were you there to take part in the matter, I should have no fears.