mortal, and besides might be got rid of in many ways. But I thought that our city and our people should be preserved so far as in us lay for immortality; and anyhow I cherished a hope that some arrangement might be made before Caesar perpetrated such a crime or Pompey such iniquity.
Now the case is altered and my mind is altered too. The sun, as you say in one of your letters, seems to me to have fallen out of the universe. As a sick man is said to have hope, so long as he has breath, so I did not cease to hope so long as Pompey was in Italy. This, this was what deceived me, and to speak the truth after my long labours my life's evening falling peacefully has made me lazy with the thought of domestic pleasures. But now, even if risk must be run in fleeing hence, assuredly I will run it. Perhaps I ought to have done it before: but the points you wrote about delayed me, and especially your influence. For, when I got so far, I opened the packet of your letters, which I keep under seal and preserve with the greatest care. In a letter dated the 21st of January, you make the following remark: "Let us see Pompey's policy and the drift of his plans. Now if he leave Italy, it will be wrong and to my mind irrational: but then and not till then will be the time to change our plans." This you wrote on the fourth day after I left Rome. Then on the 23rd of January: "I only pray that our friend Pompey will not leave Italy, as he has irrationally left Rome." On the same day you wrote another letter, a frank reply to my request for advice. It runs: "But to answer the question on which you ask advice, if Pompey leaves Italy, I think you ought to return to Rome: for what can be the end to his
plane haesit, et nunc ita video, infinitum bellum iunctum miserrima fuga, quam tu peregrinationem ὑποκορίζη. Sequitur χρησμὸς VI K. Februarias: "Ego, si Pompeius manet in Italia, nec res ad pactionem venit, longius bellum puto fore; sin Italiam relinquit, ad posterum bellum ἄσπονδον strui existimo." Huius igitur belli ego particeps et socius et adiutor esse cogor, quod et ἄσπονδον est et cum civibus? Deinde VII Idus Febr., cum iam plura audires de Pompei consilio, concludis epistulam quandam hoc modo: "Ego quidem tibi non sim auctor, si Pompeius Italiam relinquit, te quoque profugere. Summo enim periculo facies nec rei publicae proderis; cui quidem posterius poteris prodesse, si manseris." Quem φιλόπατριν ac πολιτικὸν hominis prudentis et amici tali admonitu non moveret auctoritas? Deinceps III Idus Febr. iterum mihi respondes consulenti sic: "Quod quaeris a me, fugamne[97] defendam an moram utiliorem putem, ego vero in praesentia subitum discessum et praecipitem profectionem cum tibi tum ipsi Gnaeo inutilem et periculosam puto, et satius esse existimo vos dispertitos et in speculis esse; sed medius fidius turpe nobis puto esse de fuga cogitare." Hoc turpe Gnaeus noster biennio ante cogitavit. Ita sullaturit animus eius et proscripturit iam diu. Inde, ut opinor, cum tu ad me quaedam γενικώτερον scripsisses, et ego mihi a te significari putassem, ut Italia cederem, detestaris hoc diligenter XI K. Mart.: "Ego vero nulla epistula significavi, si Gnaeus Italia cederet, ut tu una cederes, aut, si significavi, non dico fui inconstans,
[97] fugamne—putem, as Otto Müller: M reads fugamne fidam (corr. from fedam) an moram defendam utiliorem putem. Other suggested emendations are fugamne suadeam an moram defendam utilioremque putem (Klotz), and fugamne foedam an moram desidem utiliorem putem (Manutius).
wanderings?" This gave me pause, and I see now endless war is attached to that wretched flight, which you playfully called "wandering." There follows your prophecy of the 25th of January: "If Pompey stays in Italy and no arrangement is reached, I fancy there will be a very long war. If he leaves Italy, I think that for the future there will be war à l'outrance." In this war then à l'outrance, this civil war, am I forced to take part and lot and share? Next on the 7th of February, when you had heard more of Pompey's plans, you end a letter as follows: "I would not advise you to flee, if Pompey leaves Italy. You will run a very great risk, and will not help the country, which you may be able to help hereafter, if you remain." What patriot and politician would not be influenced by such advice from a wise man and a friend? Next on the 11th of February you answer my request for counsel again as follows: "You ask me whether I hold that flight or delay is more useful. Well, I think that at the present juncture a sudden departure and hasty journey would be useless and dangerous both to yourself and to Pompey, and that it were better for you to be apart, and each on his own watch tower. But upon my honour I hold it disgraceful of us to think of flight." This disgrace our Pompey meditated two years ago: so long has he been eager to play at Sulla and proscriptions. Then, as I fancy, when you had written to me in more general terms and I had thought that some of your remarks hinted at my departure from Italy, you protest emphatically against it on the 19th of February: "In no letter have I hinted that you should accompany Pompey, if he leaves Italy, or, if I did hint it, I was worse than inconsistent, I was mad."
sed demens." In eadem epistula alio loco: "Nihil relinquitur nisi fuga; cui te socium neutiquam puto esse oportere nec umquam putavi." Totam autem hanc deliberationem evolvis accuratius in litteris VIII Kal. Mart. datis: "Si M'. Lepidus et L. Volcacius remanent, manendum puto, ita ut, si salvus sit Pompeius et constiterit alicubi, hanc νέκυιαν relinquas et te in certamine vinci cum illo facilius patiaris quam cum hoc in ea, quae perspicitur futura, colluvie regnare." Multa disputas huic sententiae convenientia. Inde ad extremum: "Quid, si, inquis," "Lepidus et Volcacius discedunt? Plane ἀπορῶ. Quod evenerit igitur, et quod egeris, id στερκτέον putabo." Si tum dubitaras, nunc certe non dubitas istis manentibus. Deinde in ipsa fuga V Kal. Martias: "Interea non dubito quin in Formiano mansurus sis. Commodissime enim τὸ μέλλον ibi καραδοκήσεις." Ad K. Mart., cum ille quintum iam diem Brundisi esset: "Tum poterimus deliberare non scilicet integra re, sed certe minus infracta, quam si una proieceris te." Deinde IIII Non. Martias, ὑπὸ τὴν λῆψιν cum breviter scriberes, tamen ponis hoc: "Cras scribam plura et ad omnia; hoc tamen dicam, non paenitere me consilii de tua mansione, et, quamquam magna sollicitudine, tamen, quia minus mali puto esse quam in illa profectione, maneo in sententia et gaudeo te mansisse." Cum vero iam angerer et timerem, ne quid a me dedecoris esset admissum, III Nonas Mart.: "Tamen te non esse una cum Pompeio non fero moleste. Postea, si opus fuerit, non erit difficile, et