Circumstances advise, you have pointed out, and I see for myself, that it is time there was an end to our correspondence on topics which it is dangerous to have intercepted: but since my daughter often writes beseeching me to await the issue in Spain and
adscribat idem videri tibi, idque ipse etiam ex tuis litteris intellexerim, non puto esse alienum me ad te, quid de ea re sentiam, scribere.
Consilium istud tunc esset prudens, ut mihi videtur, si nostras rationes ad Hispaniensem casum accommodaturi essemus; quod fieri non debet.[135] Necesse est enim aut, id quod maxime velim, pelli istum ab Hispania, aut trahi id bellum, aut istum, ut confidere videtur, apprehendere Hispanias. Si pelletur, quam gratus aut quam honestus tum erit ad Pompeium noster adventus, cum ipsum Curionem ad eum transiturum putem? Si trahitur bellum, quid exspectem aut quam diu? Relinquitur, ut, si vincimur in Hispania, quiescamus. Id ego contra puto. Istum enim victorem magis relinquendum puto quam victum, et dubitantem magis quam fidentem suis rebus. Nam caedem video, si vicerit, et impetum in privatorum pecunias et exsulum reditum et tabulas novas et turpissimorum honores et regnum non modo Romano homini, sed ne Persae quidem cuiquam tolerabile. Tacita esse poterit indignitas nostra? pati poterunt oculi me cum Gabinio sententiam dicere, et quidem illum rogari prius? praesto esse clientem tuum Clodium, C. Atei Plaguleium, ceteros? Sed cur inimicos conligo, qui meos necessarios a me defensos nec videre in curia sine dolore nec versari inter eos sine dedecore potero? Quid, si ne id quidem est exploratum fore ut mihi liceat? Scribunt enim ad me amici eius me illi nullo modo satis
[135] non debet is omitted by the best MSS. and is probably only supplied by conjecture in P.
always adds that you think the same, and this is what I have gathered myself from your letters, I think it is well for me to write to you what I think about it.
The advice would be wise, it seems to me, only if I meant to shape my course according to what happens in Spain. That is impossible. For either, as I should much prefer, Caesar must be driven from Spain, or the war will drag on, or Caesar will seize Spain, as he seems to be confident. If Caesar is driven from Spain, you can imagine how pleasing and honourable my arrival will seem to Pompey, when I suppose even Curio will go over to him. If the war drags on, for what am I to wait or how long? The remaining alternative is that I should keep neutral, if we are beaten in Spain. I take the opposite view: for I think I am more bound to desert Caesar as victor than as vanquished, and while he is still doubtful rather than confident about his fortunes: for I foresee a massacre, if he conquers, attack on the wealth of private persons, the recall of exiles, repudiation of debts, high office for the vilest men, and a tyranny intolerable to a Persian much more to a Roman. Will my indignation be able to keep silence? Can my eyes endure to see myself giving my vote along with Gabinius, or indeed Gabinius being asked his opinion before me? Your client Clodius in waiting? Plaguleius, the client of C. Ateius, and all the others? But why do I make a list of opponents, when I shall be unable to see in the House without pain friends whom I have defended or to mix with them without shame? And what if even that may not be allowed to me, for all I know? For Caesar's friends write me that he is not at all
fecisse, quod in senatum non venerim. Tamenne dubitemus, an ei nos etiam cum periculo venditemus, quicum coniuncti ne cum praemio quidem voluimus esse? Deinde hoc vide, non esse iudicium de tota contentione in Hispaniis, nisi forte iis amissis arma Pompeium abiecturum putas, cuius omne consilium Themistocleum est. Existimat enim, qui mare teneat, eum necesse esse rerum potiri. Itaque numquam id egit, ut Hispaniae per se tenerentur, navalis apparatus ei semper antiquissima cura fuit. Navigabit igitur, cum erit tempus, maximis classibus et ad Italiam accedet. In qua nos sedentes quid erimus? nam medios esse iam non licebit. Classibus adversabimur igitur? Quod maius scelus aut tantum denique? quid turpius? anuival dehic in absentis[136] solus tuli scelus, eiusdem cum Pompeio et cum reliquis principibus non feram? Quodsi iam misso officio periculi ratio habenda est, ab illis est periculum, si peccaro, ab hoc, si recte fecero, nec ullum in his malis consilium periculo vacuum inveniri potest, ut non sit dubium, quin turpiter facere cum periculo fugiamus, quod fugeremus etiam cum salute. Non si[137] simul cum Pompeio mare transierimus? Omnino non potuimus. Exstat ratio dierum. Sed tamen—fateamur enim, quod est: ne condimus quidem—ut possimus, fefellit ea me res, quae fortasse non debuit, sed fefellit. Pacem putavi fore. Quae si esset, iratum mihi Caesarem esse, cum idem amicus