[136] The text here is hopelessly corrupt and no satisfactory emendation has been made. The translation gives the probable sense.
[137] si added by Tyrrell.
satisfied because I did not come to the Senate. Am I still to hesitate whether to sell myself to him at grave risk, when I refused to join him even with a certainty of reward. Besides consider this that the verdict on the whole contest does not depend on Spain; unless perhaps you think that, if Spain is lost, Pompey will throw down his arms, when his policy has always been that of Themistocles. He considers that the master of the sea must be master of the empire: so he has never planned to hold Spain for its own sake. The equipment of the fleet has always been his first care. So he will take to the sea in due season with a huge fleet and will come to Italy. What then will be the fate of us, if we stay here idle? Neutrality will be impossible. Shall we then resist the fleet? Could there be a crime deeper, greater or baser? Isolated I ran risks: shall I hesitate with the help of Pompey and the rest of the nobles. If now I am to take no account of duty but only of danger, it is from Pompey's party I run risk, if I do wrong, from Caesar, if I do right: and such is our evil plight that no plan is so free from danger as to leave a doubt that I should avoid doing with disgrace as well as danger what I should have avoided, if it had been safe. You will say I might safely have crossed the sea with Pompey. It was altogether impossible. It is easy to reckon the days: but nevertheless (for let me confess the truth: I do not even sugar my confession) supposing I could, I was mistaken over a point which perhaps ought not to have misled me; but it did. I thought that peace might be made: and, if it should be, I did not wish Caesar to be angry with me, when at the same time he was
esset Pompeio, nolui. Senseram enim, quam idem essent. Hoc verens in hanc tarditatem incidi. Sed assequor omnia, si propero, si cunctor, amitto. Et tamen, mi Attice, auguria quoque me incitant quadam spe non dubia, nec haec collegii nostri ab Atto, sed illa Platonis de tyrannis. Nullo enim modo posse video stare istum diutius, quin ipse per se etiam languentibus nobis concidat, quippe qui florentissimus ac novus VI, VII diebus ipsi illi egenti ac perditae multitudini in odium acerbissimum venerit, qui duarum rerum simulationem tam cito amiserit, mansuetudinis in Metello, divitiarum in aerario. Iam quibus utatur vel sociis vel ministris? ii provincias, ii rem publicam regent, quorum nemo duo menses potuit patrimonium suum gubernare?
Non sunt omnia colligenda, quae tu acutissime perspicis, sed tamen ea pone ante oculos; iam intelleges id regnum vix semenstre esse posse. Quod si me fefellerit, feram, sicut multi clarissimi homines in re publica excellentes tulerunt, nisi forti me Sardanapalli vicem [in suo lectulo][138] mori malle censueris quam exsilio Themistocleo. Qui com fuisset, ut ait Thucydides, τῶν μὲν παρόντων δι' ἐλαχίστης βουλῆς κράτιστος γνώμων, τῶν δὲ μελλόντων ἐς πλεῖστον τοῦ γενησομένου ἄριστος εἰκαστής, tamen incidit in eos
[138] The words in brackets are deleted by Nipperdey as a gloss.
friendly with Pompey. For I had realized how exactly they were alike. That fear of mine led me to delay. But I gain all now by haste, and, if I delay, I lose all. Nevertheless, my friend, there are auguries which urge me on, with hope not uncertain: I do not mean those of my own college which came down from Attus Navius: but Plato's words about the tyrant.[139] For I see that Caesar can in no way maintain his position much longer, without causing his own fall, even if we are backward. For in his first and flourishing days it did not take him a week to incur the bitter hatred of the needy abandoned rabble, by letting slip through his fingers so quickly his fictitious claim to two things, clemency in the case of Metellus and ample wealth in the case of the public money. Now what kind of associates and servants can he employ? Are men to rule provinces and direct affairs not one of whom could steer his own fortunes for two months?