his way with large forces into Germany through Illyricum, for that was the news sans doute. So I think I must make for Malta, until there is news from Spain. This from Caesar's letter I almost think I may do without annoying him, for he says there is no more honourable or safe course open to me than to keep quite clear of the fight. You will say "Where then is your courage which you showed in recent letters?" It is there and the same; but would that I had only to decide for myself. The tears of my family at times weaken me, when they beg me to wait for news about Spain. The miserable tone of M. Caelius' letter making this same request that I should wait, not to risk so rashly my fortunes, my only son and all my family, moved our boys to weeping; although my own son is made of stronger stuff, and for that very reason he affects me more deeply, thinking only of my reputation.
So I shall go to Malta, thence where it seems good. Still even now send me a line, especially if there is any news from Afranius. If I have an interview with Antony, I will inform you of the result. However, as you advise, I will take care how I trust him, for the policy of concealment is hard and dangerous too. Servius Sulpicius I await till the 7th. Both his wife Postumia and his son urge me to this. I rejoice that your ague is better. I send you also a copy of Caelius' letter.
IXa
CAELIUS TO CICERO, GREETING.
Intimile, Apr. 16, B.C. 49
In my dismay at your letter, in which you show that your thoughts are set on some unhappy act
neque non tamen, quale esset, quod cogitates, aperuisti, has ad te ilico litteras scripsi. Per fortunas tuas, Cicero, per liberos te oro et obsecro, ne quid gravius de salute et incolumitate tua consulas. Nam deos hominesque amicitiamque nostram testificor me tibi praedixisse neque temere monuisse, sed, postquam Caesarem convenerim sententiamque eius, qualis futura esset parta victoria, cognorim, te certiorem fecisse. Si existimas eandem rationem fore Caesaris in dimittendis adversariis et condicionibus ferendis, erras; nihil nisi atrox et saevum cogitat atque etiam loquitur; iratus senatui exiit, his intercessionibus plane incitatus est; non mehercules erit deprecationi locus. Quare, si tibi tu, si filius unicus, si domus, si spes tuae reliquae tibi carae sunt, si aliquid apud te nos, si vir optimus, gener tuus, valemus, quorum fortunam non debes velle conturbare, noli committere,[145] ut eam causam, in cuius victoria salus nostra est, odisse aut relinquere cogamur, aut impiam cupiditatem contra salutem tuam habeamus. Denique illud cogita, quod offensae fuerit in ista cunctatione, te subisse. Nunc te contra victorem Caesarem facere, quem dubiis rebus laedere noluisti, et ad eos fugatos accedere, quos resistentes sequi nolueris, summae stultitiae est. Vide, ne, dum pudet te parum optimatem esse, parum diligenter, quid optimum sit, eligas. Quod si totum tibi persuadere non possum, saltem, dum, quid de Hispaniis agamus, scitur,
[145] noli committere added by Lehmann.