Scr. in Cumano prid. Non. Mai. a. 705
Sine dubio errasse nos confitendum est. "At semel, at una in re." Immo omnia quo diligentius cogitata eo facta sunt imprudentius.
Ἀλλὰ τὰ μὲν προτετύχθαι ἐάσομεν ἀχνύμενοί περ, in reliquis modo ne ruamus. Iubes de profectione me providere. Quid provideam? Ita patent omnia, quae accidere possunt, ut, ea si vitem, sedendum sit cum dedecore et dolore, si neglegam, periculum sit, ne in manus incidam perditorum. Sed vide, quantis in miseriis simus. Optandum interdum videtur, ut aliquam accipiamus ab istis quamvis acerbam iniuriam, ut tyranno in odio fuisse videamur. Quodsi nobis is cursus, quem speraram, pateret, effecissem aliquid profecto, ut tu optas et hortaris, dignum nostra mora. Sed mirificae sunt custodiae, et quidem ille ipse Curio suspectus. Quare vi aut clam agendum est et, si vi, fortiter cum tempestate.[151] Clam autem istis? In quo si quod σφάλμα, vides, quam turpe sit. Trahimur, nec fugiendum, si quid violentius.
[151] et si vi forte ne cum pestate M: et si vi forte et cum tempestate Ant., F. I have adopted Orelli's reading; but it is very uncertain.
with severity. I hope my efforts may succeed. But please some time tear up the letters in which I criticize him severely, for fear anything ever come to light. I will tear up yours. Servius Sulpicius I am still awaiting, nor do I hear anything satisfactory from him. You shall know whatever happens.
XIIa
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Cumae, May 6, B.C. 49
Undoubtedly I must admit I have been mistaken. But is it once only or on one topic? No, in everything. The more carefully I have thought, the less wisely have I done. "Let bygones be bygones."[152] In the future only let us not invite disaster. You bid me provide for my journey. What can I provide? All the possible accidents are so obvious, that, if I would shun them, I must sit still in shame and grief: and, if I disregard them, it is odds that I fall into the hands of villains. But see how miserable I am. Sometimes it seems preferable that I should receive some damage however bitter from Caesar's party, that people may see I am hated by the tyrant. But, if the voyage for which I hoped were open to me, certainly, as you wish and advise, I should have done something to justify delay. But I am watched with extraordinary care and even Curio is suspect. So I must make a bold move or use craft. If a bold move, I need good weather: but, if craft, should there be any faux pas, you see how disgraced I should be. I am carried away by circumstances and must not be afraid of a bold course.