What a heap of troubles and how serious too! And you are doing your best to make them lighter, and with some success—indeed that you try so hard to relieve me is some relief in itself. I hope you won't find it a burden to do so as often as possible. But you will succeed in your object best, if you can convince me that I have not entirely lost the good opinion of the loyal party. Yet what can you do in that matter? Nothing of course. But, if anything gives a chance, that is what will best console me. I see that at present it is impossible:
video non esse, sed, si quid ex eventis, ut hoc nunc accidit. Dicebar debuisse cum Pompeio proficisci. Exitus illius minuit eius officii praetermissi reprehensionem. Sed ex omnibus nihil magis tamem desideratur, quam quod in Africam non ierim. Iudicio hoc sum usus, non esse barbaris auxiliis fallacissimae gentis rem publicam defendendam, praesertim contra exercitum saepe victorem, Non probant fortasse; multos enim viros bonos in Africam venisse audio et scio fuisse antea. Valde hoc loco urgeor. Hic quoque opus est casu, ut aliqui sint ex eis, aut, si potest, omnes qui salutem anteponant. Nam, si perseverant et obtinent, quid nobis futurum sit, vides. Dices: "Quid illis, si victi erunt?" Honestior est plaga. Haec me excruciant. Sulpici autem consilium non scripsisti cur meo non anteponeres. Quod etsi non tam gloriosum est quam Catonis, tamen et periculo vacuum est et dolore. Extremum est eorum, qui in Achaia sunt. Ei tamen ipsi se hoc melius habent quam nos, quod et multi sunt uno in loco, et, cum in Italiam venerint, domum statim venerint. Haec tu perge, ut facis, mitigare et probare quam plurimis.
Quod te excusas, ego vero et tuas causas nosco et mea interesse puto te istic esse, vel ut cum eis, quibus oportebit, agas, quae erunt agenda de nobis,
but if anything does turns up, as in this present case. It used to be said that I ought to have gone with Pompey: but now his death tends to absolve me from blame for neglecting my duty in that case. But where I am thought to have been most lacking is in not going to Africa. My view was that barbarian auxiliaries drawn from a most deceitful race were not the proper persons to defend the State, especially against an army which had won so many victories. That view may not meet with approval; for I hear that many patriots have arrived in Africa, and I know there were some there before. This is a point that really bothers me: and here again I must trust to luck, that there may be some of them, or, if such a thing is possible, all of them, who put safety first. For, if they hold fast and succeed, you can see what a position I shall be in. You will say "How about it, if they are defeated?" That is a more honourable blow. This is what tortures me. However, you have not told me why you do not prefer Sulpicius' policy to mine. It may not be so glorious as Cato's: but it is at any rate free from danger and regret. The last case is that of those who stayed in Achaia. Even they are in a better position than I am, because there are many of them together, and, when they do come to Italy, they will go straight home. Please continue your efforts to ameliorate my position and to win over as many people as possible to approval.
You explain why you do not come. Yes, I know your reasons and think it is to my interest that you should stay where you are, for one thing that you may be able to carry out any necessary negotiations about me with the proper persons, as you have done.
ut ea, quae egisti. In primisque hoc velim animadvertas. Multos esse arbitror, qui ad Caesarem detulerint delaturive sint me aut paenitere consilli mei aut non probare, quae fiant. Quorum etsi utrumque verum est, tamen ab illis dicitur animo a me alienato, non quo ita esse perspexerint. Sed totum in eo est, ut hoc Balbus sustineat et Oppius, et eorum crebis litteris illius voluntas erga me confirmetur. Et hoc plane ut fiat, diligentiam adhibeis. Alterum est, cur te nolim discedere, quod scribis Tulliam te flagitare. O rem miseram! quid scribam aut quid velim? Breve faciam, lacrimae enim se subito profunderunt. Tibi permitto, tu consule; tantum vide, ne hoc tempore isti obesse aliquid possit. Ignosce, obsecro te. Non possum prae fletu et dolore diutius in hoc loco commorari. Tantum dicam, nihil mihi gratius esse, quam quod eam diligis.
Quod litteras, quibus putas opus esse, curas dandas, facis commode. Quintum filium vidi qui Sami vidisset, patrem Sicyone. Quorum deprecatio est facilis. Utinam illi qui prius illum viderent, me apud eum velint adiutum tantum, quantum ego illos vellem, si quid possem!