statim ardentes dolore venerunt scelus hominis clamantes; epistulas mihi legerunt plenas omnium in me probrorum. Hic Ligurius furere. "Se enim scire summo illum in odio fuisse Caesari. Illum tamen non modo favisse, sed etiam tantam illi pecuniam dedisse honoris mei causa." Hoc ego dolore accepto volui scire, quid scripsisset ad ceteros; ipsi enim illi putavi perniciosum fore, si eius hoc tantum scelus percrebruisset. Cognovi eiusdem generis. Ad te misi. Quas si putabis illi ipsi utile esse reddi, reddes. Nil me laedet. Nam, quod resignatae sunt, habet, opinor, eius signum Pomponia. Hac ille acerbitate initio navigationis cum usus esset, tanto me dolore adfecit, ut postea iacuerim, neque nunc tam pro se quam contra me laborare dicitur.
Ita omnibus rebus urgeor; quas sustinere vix possum vel plane nullo modo possum. Quibus in miseriis una est pro omnibus, quod istam miseram patrimonio, fortuna omni spoliatam relinquam. Quare te, ut polliceris, videre plane velim. Alium enim, cui illam commendem, habeo neminem, quoniam matri quoque eadem intellexi esse parata quae mihi. Sed, si me non offendes, satis tamen habeto commendatam, patruumque in ea, quantum poteris, mitigato.
Haec ad te die natali meo scripsi. Quo utinam susceptus non essem, aut ne quid ex eadem matre postea natum esset! Plura scribere fletu prohibeor.
sent to them. They came to me at once boiling with indignation and crying shame on him, and they read me letters full of all kinds of abuse of myself. Then Ligurius burst out with fury, "to his certain knowledge Caesar detested Quintus and had favoured him and given him all that money out of compliment to me." After this blow I wanted to know what he had said to the others: for I thought it would be disastrous to his own reputation if such a scandal got abroad. I found they were all of a piece, and have sent them to you. If you think it will do him any good to have them delivered, have them delivered. It won't do me any harm. Though the seals are broken, I think Pomponia has his signet. When, at the beginning of our voyage, he adopted this bitter tone, I was so upset that I was prostrated afterwards; and now he is said to be working against me rather than for himself.
So I am weighed down by such a heavy burden of griefs that I can hardly bear up under it; indeed, I cannot possibly bear up under it. And among all my miseries there is one that outweighs all the rest—that I shall leave that poor girl[175] deprived of her patrimony and penniless. So I hope you will fulfil your promise and look after her. I have no one else to entrust her to, for I hear that her mother is threatened with the same fate as myself. If you do not find me here, take this as sufficient injunction as regards her, and soften her uncle towards her as far as you can.
[175] Tullia.
This I am writing on my birthday. Would that I had been left to die on the day of my birth, or that my mother had never had another child. Tears prevent me from writing more.