So you need not wonder, if I am reluctant to embark on a cause, which has no policy for peace or victory, but always a policy of disastrous and disgraceful flight. I must go to face whatever fortune bring, with so-called loyalists rather than seem to disagree with real loyalists. Yet I see Rome will soon be crammed with loyalists, I mean with men of wealth and fortune, crammed full, when the towns have been abandoned. I would be among them, were it not for these tiresome lictors. I should not be ashamed of the company of M'. Lepidus, L. Volcacius, Ser. Sulpicius, not one of whom is a bigger fool than L. Domitius, nor a bigger trimmer than Ap. Claudius. Only Pompey weighs with me, for his past kindnesses, not for his public influence. For what influence has he in this case? When we were all afraid of Caesar, he cherished him. After he has begun to fear Caesar, he thinks all should be Caesar's enemies. Still I shall go to Luceria. Perhaps he will not be pleased to meet me, for I shall not be able to disguise my disgust at what he has done so far. If I could sleep, I would not bother you with such long letters. If you suffer from the same complaint, I shall be glad if you will pay me back in the same coin.
II
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Formiae, Feb. 17, B.C. 49
Many thanks for everything: for writing me your news, for not believing a report, which reflected on my energy, and for the expression of your opinion. I sent Caesar one letter from Capua in answer to his inquiries about his gladiators.[58] It was short but friendly, and, so far from abusing Pompey,
[58] Cf. p. 69.
laude Pompei. Id enim illa sententia postulabat, qua illum ad concordiam hortabar. Eas si quo ille misit, in publico proponat velim. Alteras eodem die dedi quo has ad te. Non potui non dare, cum et ipse ad me scripsisset et Balbus. Earum exemplum ad te misi. Nihil arbitror fore, quod reprehendas. Si qua erunt, doce me, quo modo μέμψιν effugere possim. "Nihil," inquies, "onmino scripseris." Qui magis effugias eos, qui volent fingere? Verum tamen ita faciam, quoad fieri poterit. Nam, quod me hortaris ad memoriam factorum, dictorum, scriptorum etiam meorum, facis amice tu quidem mihique gratissimum, sed mihi videris aliud tu honestum meque dignum in hac causa iudicare, atque ego existimem. Mihi enim nihil ulla in gente umquam ab ullo auctore rei publicae ac duce turpius factum esse videtur, quam a nostro amico factum est. Cuius ego vicem doleo; qui urbem reliquit, id est patriam, pro qua et in qua mori praeclarum fuit. Ignorare mihi videris, haec quanta sit clades. Es enim etiam nunc domi tuae, sed invitis perditissimis hominibus esse diutius non potes. Hoc miserius, hoc turpius quicquam? Vagamur egentes cum coniugibus et liberis; in unius hominis quotannis periculose aegrotantis anima positas omnes nostras spes habemus non expulsi, sed evocati ex patria; quam non servandam ad reditum nostrum, sed diripiendam et inflammandam reliquimus. Ita multi nobiscum sunt, non in suburbanis, non in hortis, non in ipsa urbe, et, si nunc sunt, non erunt. Nos interea ne Capuae quidem, sed Luceriae, et oram quidem maritimam iam relinquemus, Afranium exspectabimus et Petreium. Nam in Labieno parum est dignitatis.
praised him highly. I had to do that, as I was an advocate of peace between them. If Caesar has passed on my letter, good: I should like him to placard it in public. I have sent him another letter on the date on which I dispatch this to you. I could not help doing so when he and Balbus wrote to me. I send you a copy of the letter. I don't think you can find any fault. If you can find any, tell me how I can escape criticism. You will say I should have sent no letter at all. What better plan to escape malicious tongues? However I will do so as long as I can. Your exhortations to remember my deeds and words and even writings are friendly and very pleasant; but you seem to have a different idea to mine as to honour and propriety in this business. To my mind, no statesman or general has ever been guilty of conduct so disgraceful as Pompey's. I am sorry for him. He left Rome, his country, for which and in which it were glorious to die. You don't seem to me to realize what a disaster that is. You yourself are still in your own house; but you cannot stay there any longer without the consent of villains and traitors. It is the depth of misery and shame. We wander in want with wives and children. Our sole hope lies in the life of one man, who falls dangerously sick every year. We are not driven, but summoned to leave our country. And our country which we have left will not be kept in safety against our return, but abandoned to fire and plunder. So many Pompeians are with us, not in their suburban villas, not in Rome, and, if some are still in Rome, they will soon go. Meantime I shall not stay at Capua, but at Luceria, and of course I shall abandon the coast at once. I shall wait for the move of Afranius and Petreius: for Labienus is a