Scr. in Tusculano prid. Id. Mai. a. 709
De Vergili parte valde probo. Sic ages igitur. Et quidem id erit primum, proximum Clodiae. Quodsi neutrum, metuo, ne turbem et inruam in Drusum. Intemperans sum in eius rei cupiditate, quam nosti. Itaque revolvor identidem in Tusculanum. Quidvis enim potius, quam ut non hac aestate absolvatur.
Ego, ut tempus est nostrum, locum habeo nullum, ubi facilius esse possim quam Asturae. Sed, quia, qui mecum sunt, credo, quod maestitiam meam non ferunt, domum properant, etsi poteram remanere, tamen, ut scripsi tibi, proficiscar hinc, ne relictus videar. Quo autem? Lanuvio conor equidem in Tusculanum. Sed faciam te statim certiorem. Tu litteras conficies. Equidem credibile non est quantum scribam, quin etiam noctibus. Nihil enim somni. Heri etiam effeci epistulam ad Caesarem; tibi enim placebat. Quam non fuit malum scribi, si forte opus
follower of Antiochus. O that fickle Academy, always the same, now one thing, now another.[[134]] But pray tell me, were you very pleased with my letter to Varro. May I be hanged if I ever take so much trouble with anything again. So I did not even dictate it to Tiro, who can follow whole sentences as dictated, but syllable by syllable to Spintharus.
[134]. Like Cicero's treatise, which had already been rewritten twice: cf. XIII. 16.
XXVI
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Tusculum, May 14, B.C. 45
About Vergilius'[[135]] share I approve; so arrange it like that. And indeed it will be my first choice, next to Clodia's. If neither, I fear I shall run amuck and make a dash for Drusus. As you know, I have lost control of myself in my desire for this. So I keep coming back to the idea of my place at Tusculum. For anything is better than not getting it finished this summer.
[135]. Vergilius was one of the four co-heirs of Scapula. Cf. XII. 38a.
Under the present circumstances I am as comfortable at Astura as I could be anywhere. But as those who are with me are in a hurry to go home, I suppose because they cannot put up with my melancholy, though I might remain, I shall leave here, as I told you, so as not to seem deserted. But where am I to go? From Lanuvium I am trying to bring myself to go to Tusculum. But I will let you know soon. Please write the letters. You wouldn't believe how much writing I get done by night as well as day, for I cannot sleep. Yesterday I even composed a letter to Caesar, as you desired. There was no harm in writing it in case you thought it necessary: as