It is said that Sheridan, one of the most celebrated wits and conversationists of his day, prepared himself for convivial occasions, like an intellectual gladiator, ready to enter the lists in a valiant struggle for supremacy. He may be said to have made Conversation a Profession, to which he gave his whole attention, as did the celebrated youth who exceeded all his fellows in the tie of his neck-cloth, to that mysterious art!
Sheridan's practice was, to make brief notes, before going into society, of appropriate topics and witticisms for each occasion, upon which he relied for sustaining his reputation as a boon companion and accomplished talker. There is a good story told of his being exceedingly nonplussed, on some important occasion, by having his memoranda purloined by a friend, who, while waiting to accompany the wit to an entertainment to which both were invited, stole his thunder from his dressing-table, where it had been placed in readiness. The unlucky literary Boanerges was as powerless as Jupiter robbed of his bolts!
But if one would not desire preparation as elaborately artificial as that ascribed to this spoiled fondling of English aristocracy, there seems to be a propriety in making some mental, as well as external arrangements before entering society. Thus, passingly to reflect, while making one's toilet for such an occasion, upon the general character of the company one is to meet, and upon the subjects most appropriate for conversation with those with whom one will probably be individually associated, may not be amiss. Nor will it be unwise to recall such reminiscences of personal adventures, popular intelligence, etc., as the day may have furnished.
Happily, however, for those who distrust their power to surprise by erudition, or delight by wit, good-sense, accompanied by good-humor and courtesy, render their possessors the most enduringly agreeable of social and domestic companions. The favorites of society are usually those who wound no one's self-love, either by imposing upon others a painful sense of inferiority, or by rudeness, impertinence, or assumption. Few have sufficient magnanimity to forgive superiority, but good-nature and politeness need no excuse with any.
"Oh, let the ungentle spirit learn from hence,
A small unkindness is a great offence!
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All may shun the guilt of giving pain."
Wit, however racy, should never find a place in conversation when pointed at the expense of another, and, indeed, personalities, even when free from condemnation on this score, are usually in bad taste. People of sensibility and refinement are much more likely to be annoyed than gratified by being made the auditors of conversation, even when politely intended, which brings them into especial notice.
Hence, nothing requires more delicacy and tact than the language of compliment, which should always be carefully distinguished from that of mere flattery. The one is the expression of well-bred courtesy, the other is oppressive and embarrassing to all rightly constituted persons, and discreditable to the taste by which it is dictated.
As a general rule, it is better to talk of things than of persons, and William Penn's rule to "say nothing of others, unless you can say something good of them," should have no exception. Let nothing tempt you into the habit of indulging in gossip, scandal, and unmanly puerility—not even a good-natured desire to assimilate yourself to the companionship of temporary associates. In this respect, as in many others,
"Vice is a monster of such hideous mien,
As to be hated, needs but to be seen;
But seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace."
No conscientiously-enlightened man can reflect for a moment upon the heinousness of slander, or indeed of evil speaking when not allied with falsehood, without abhorrence; and yet, how few can assume that, in Heaven's High Chancery, there is no such dark record against them.