It is obviously unsuitable, usually, to prolong an interview of this kind beyond a very moderate length, and hence, as well as for other reasons, the conversation should be light, varied, and appropriate to outward circumstances.
It is proper to send your card, not only to announce yourself to strangers to whom you may wish to pay your respects, but to all ladies with whom you are not upon very intimate terms, and at a private house, to designate intelligibly to the servant who receives your card, the individual, or the several persons, whom you wish to see.
If you go to a hotel, etc., for this purpose, write the name of the lady or ladies, for whom your visit is designed, upon your card, above your own name, in a legible manner, and await the return of the messenger, to whom you intrust it, where you part from him. If, upon his return, you are to remain for your friends, and there be a choice of apartments for that purpose, unless you choose to station yourself within sight of the stairs they must of need descend, or the corridor through which they must pass, let the porter in attendance distinctly understand not only your name, but where you are to be found, and if possible, give him some clue to the identification of the friends you wish to see. After a few vexatious mistakes and misapprehensions, you will admit the wisdom of these precautionary measures, I have no doubt. When you are shown into the drawing-room of a private residence, if the mistress of the mansion is present, at once advance towards her. Should she offer her hand, be prompt to receive it, and for this purpose, take your hat, stick, and right-hand glove (unless an occasion of extreme ceremony demands your wearing the latter), in your left hand, as you enter. If your hostess does not offer her hand, when she rises to receive you, simply bow, as you pay your compliments, and take the seat she designates, or that the servant places for you. When there are other ladies of the same family present, speak to each, in succession, according to age, or other proper precedence, before you seat yourself. If there are ladies in the room whom you do not know, bow slightly to them, also, and if you are introduced, after you have assumed a seat, rise and bow to them. When men are introduced, they usually mutually advance and shake hands; but the intimation that this will be agreeable to her, should always be the test when you are presented to a lady, or when you address a lady acquaintance.
Some tact is necessary in deciding your movements when you find yourself preceded by other visitors, in making a morning call. If you have no special reason, as a message to deliver, or an appointment to make, for lingering, and discover that you are interrupting a circle, or when you are
in the midst of strangers, where the conversation does not at once become general, upon your making one of them, address a few polite phrases to your hostess, if you can do so with ease and propriety from your position with regard to her, and take leave, approaching her nearly enough, when you rise to go, to make your adieu audible, or to receive her hand, should she offer it. To strangers, even when you have been introduced, you, ordinarily, only bow passingly, as you are about to quit the room.
Should you have a special object in calling upon a lady, keep it carefully in view, that you may accomplish it before you leave her presence. When other visitors, or some similar circumstance, interfere with the accomplishment of your purpose, you may write what you wish upon a card in the hall, as you go out, and intrust it to a servant, or leave a message with him, or in case of there being objections to either of those methods of communication, resort to an appointment requested through him, or subsequently write a note to that effect, or containing an explanation of the object of your visit. When you determine to outstay others at a morning reception, upon the rising of ladies to depart, you rise also, under all circumstances; and when they are acquaintances, and unattended by a gentleman, accompany them to the street-door, and to their carriage, if they are driving, and then return to your hostess. Unacquainted, you simply stand until ladies leave the room, politely returning their parting salutation, if they make one. Any appearance of a wish on the part of those whom you chance to meet thus, for an aside conversation, will, of course, suggest the propriety of occupying yourself until your hostess is at leisure, with some subject of interest in the room—turn to a picture, open a book, examine some article of bijouterie, and, thus civilly unobtrusive, observe only when it is proper for you to notice the separation of the company.
As I have before said, in making a visit of mere politeness, some passing topic of interest should succeed the courteous inquiries, etc., that naturally commence the conversation. Visiting a lady practised in the usages of society, relieves one, very naturally, from any necessity for leading the conversation.
When your object is to make an appointment, give an invitation, etc., repeat the arrangement finally agreed upon, distinctly and deliberately, upon rising to go away, that both parties may distinctly understand it, beyond the possibility of mistake.
In attending ladies who are making morning visits, it is proper to assist them up the steps, ring the bell, write cards, etc. Entering, always follow them into the house and into the drawing-room, and wait until they have finished their salutations, unless you have to perform the part of presenting them. In that case, you enter with them, or stand within the door until they have entered, and advance beside them into the apartment.
Ladies should always be the first to rise, in terminating a visit, and when they have made their adieux, their cavaliers repeat the ceremony, and follow them out.