When gentlemen call together, the younger, or least in rank, gives careful precedence to others, rendering them courtesies similar to those due to ladies.
Soiled over-shoes, or wet over-garments, should, on no account, be worn into an apartment devoted to the use of ladies, unless they cannot be safely left outside—as in the passage of a public house. In such case, by no means omit an apology for the necessary discourtesy.
When ladies are not in the apartment where you are to pay your respects to them, advance to meet them upon their entrance; and in the public room of a hotel, meet them as near the door as possible, especially if there is no gentleman with them, or the room be previously occupied, and conduct them to seats.
Never remain seated in the company of ladies with whom you are ceremoniously associated, while they are standing. Follow them to any object of interest to which they direct your attention; place a seat for them, if much time will be required for such a purpose; ring the bell, bring a book; in short, courteously relieve them from whatever may be supposed to involve effort, fatigue, or discomfort of any kind. It is, for this reason, eminently suitable to offer the arm to ladies when ascending stairs. Nothing is more absurd than the habit of preceding them adopted by some men—as if by following just behind, as one should, if the arm is disengaged, there can be any violation of propriety. Soiled frills or unmended hose must have originated this vulgarity! Tender the arm on the wall side of a lady, mounting a stairs, that she may have the benefit of the railing, and the fewer steps upon a landing; and in assisting an invalid, or aged person, it is often well to keep one step in advance. It is always decorous to suit your pace to those you would assist.
It is also a proper courtesy, always to relieve ladies of their parcels, parasols, shawls, etc., when ever this will conduce to their convenience, which is especially the case, of course, when they are occupied with the care of their dresses in ascending steps, entering a carriage, or passing through a crowd.
The rules of etiquette properly observable in making ordinary ceremonious morning-visits, are also applicable to Morning Wedding-Receptions with slight variations. Of course, you do not then announce yourself by a card. When previously acquainted with her, you advance immediately to the bride, and offer your wishes for her future happiness. Never congratulate a lady upon her marriage; such felicitations are, with good taste, tendered to the bridegroom, not to the bride.
Having paid your compliments to the bride, you shake hands with the groom, and bow to the bride-maids, when you know them. The mother of the bride should then be sought. Here, again refinement dictates the avoidance of too eager congratulations. While expressing a cordial hope that the parents have added to their prospects of future pleasure in receiving a new member into their family, do not insinuate, by your manner, the conviction that they have no natural regret at resigning their daughter
"To another path and guide,
To a bosom yet untried."
It is not usual to sit down on such occasions; and it is as obviously unsuitable to remain long, as it is to engage the attention of those whom others may be waiting to approach, beyond the utterance of a few brief, well-chosen sentences.
When you require an introduction to the bride, but are acquainted with her husband, you may speak first to him, and so secure a presentation. Usually a groomsman, or some other gentleman, is in readiness to present unknown visitors. In that case, should he, too, be a stranger to you, mention your name to him, and any little circumstance by which he may afford a passing theme or explanation, when he introduces you—as, that you are a friend of her father—promised your particular friend, her sister, to pay your respects, etc.