“My dear,” said she, “it looks as if all these years that you have been kept safe from his hands, had been in vain.”
“No,” said Allison, “much good has come to me in those years. They have not been in vain. Mrs Beaton, I wish to do what is right. Tell me what I ought to do.”
“My dear, I cannot tell you. It is you yourself who must decide. Allison, are you strong enough, or patient enough, to think of what may be before you? Think of living your life—ten—twenty years with a man like that! Yes, it is said that he is dying, but that is what no one can really know. And if you go to him now, it must be till death comes to part you. May God guide you. It is not for me to say what it is right for you to do.” Allison sat silent.
“It is not as though all the blame had been his. I should have stood firm against him. And his life has been ruined as well as mine—far more than mine. God has been very good to me. If I were sure of His will in this thing, I wouldna be afraid.”
“But, Allison! Think of your brother.”
“Yes, it was of him I thought before, and I did a great wrong.”
“Allison, it would be to sacrifice yourself a second time. My dear, at least take time to think, and to seek counsel. You have been taken by surprise. In your great pity for this man, you must not let yourself do what can never be undone.”
“No, I have not been taken by surprise. I have been expecting something to happen ever since I came back again.” And then Allison told of her meeting with Mr Rainy on the street in Aberdeen, and how he had spoken to her of Brownrig.
“He said nothing of his being hurt or in danger. But what he did say, has never been out of my thoughts since then. I seem to have been preparing myself for some great change, all this time. It would be far easier for me to lose myself out of the sight and knowledge of all who know me, than it was when I left my home. I was hardly myself then. My only thought was, how I was to get away. I knew not where I was going. Yet I believe I was guided here.”
Allison spoke with perfect quietness. Mrs Beaton could only look and listen, astonished, as she went on.