“Yes, I was guided here, and much good has come to me since then. And I think—I believe, that I wish to follow God’s wul in this, whatever it may be. And I have only you to help me with your counsel.”
“You have the minister—and Mrs Hume.”
“Yes, I might speak to them—I must speak to them,” said Allison, with a sigh. “I must say something to them. They know nothing of me, except what they have seen with their own eyes. But I do not think they will blame me much, when they know all.”
Mrs Beaton said nothing. Little had ever been said to her, either by the minister or his wife, concerning Allison or her affairs. But in seeking to comfort the mother in her first loneliness, when her son went away, the minister had almost unconsciously shown her that he knew even more of John’s disappointment and remorse than she herself knew. She had made no response, for she believed that for all concerned, silence was best.
As for Brownrig, whether he were dying or not, how could he be helped or comforted by the sight of the woman against whom he had so deeply and deliberately sinned? As to the saving of his soul, God was gracious, and full of compassion. He had many ways of dealing with men, whether in mercy or in judgment. Could it be God’s will that Allison’s life should be still one of sacrifice, and pain, and loss, because of him? Surely, surely not.
Meanwhile Allison was repeating to herself Crombie’s words:
“Life and death! It is the matter of a soul’s salvation! It is not between you and that bad man any more. It is between you and the Lord himself, who is ever merciful, and ready to forgive. Forgive and it shall be forgiven unto you—”
Over and over again, the words repeated themselves to her as she sat in silence, till Mrs Beaton said gently:
“Allison, you have been greatly moved and startled by that which you have heard. You are in no state to decide anything now. Sleep upon it, my dear. Take time to look upon this matter in all lights, before you suffer yourself to be entangled in a net from which there may be no escape for many a year and day—from which you may never, all your life, escape. Allison, do you think the Lord has kept you safe these years, to let you lose yourself now? No, I will say nothing to influence you against your conscience. Do nothing hastily, that is all I ask. Seek counsel, as I shall seek it for you.”
But when the old woman had kissed her, and blessed her, and bidden her good-night, she held her fast and could not let her go, till Allison gently withdrew herself from her clasp.