Englishman.—“Not less agreeable: Irish hospitality, I speak from experience, does not now consist merely in pushing about the bottle; the Irish are convivial, but their conviviality is seasoned with wit and humour; they have plenty of good conversation as well as good cheer for their guests; and they not only have wit themselves, but they love it in others; they can take as well as give a joke. I never lived with a more good-humoured, generous, open-hearted people than the Irish.”
Irishman.—“I wish Englishmen, in general, were half as partial to poor Ireland as you are, sir.”
Englishman.—“Or rather you wish that they knew the country as well, and then they would do it as much justice.”
Irishman.—“You do it something more than justice, I fear. There are little peculiarities in my countrymen which will long be justly the subject of ridicule in England.”
Scotchman.—“Not among well-bred and well-informed people: those who have seen or read of great varieties of customs and manners are never apt to laugh at all that may differ from their own. As the sensible author of the Government of the Tongue says, ‘Half-witted people are always the bitterest revilers.’”
Irishman.—“You are very indulgent, gentlemen; but in spite of all your politeness, you must allow, or, at least, I must confess, that there are little defects in the Irish government of the tongue at which even whole-witted people must laugh.”
Scotchman.—“The well-educated people in all countries, I believe, escape the particular accent, and avoid the idiom, that are characteristic of the vulgar.”
Irishman.—“But even when we escape Irish brogue, we cannot escape Irish bulls.”
Englishman.—“You need not say Irish bulls with such emphasis; for bulls are not peculiar to Ireland. I have been informed by a person of unquestionable authority, that there is a town in Germany, Hirschau, in the Upper Palatinate, where the inhabitants are famous for making bulls.”
Irishman.—“I am truly glad to hear we have companions in disgrace. Numbers certainly lessen the effect of ridicule as well as of shame: but, after all, the Irish idiom is peculiarly unfortunate, for it leads perpetually to blunder.”