“As I said, we have to watch the liquor interest constantly to see that the liquor dealers suffer no loss—we have to do that, of course.”
And he continued dreamily, as if losin’ sight of me and talkin’ to himself: “The wealthy Corporations and Trusts, we have to condemn them loudly to please the common people, and help ’em secretly to please ourselves, or our richest perkisits are lost. The Canal Ring, the Indian Agency, the Land Grabbers, the political bosses. In fact, we are surrounded by a host of bandits that we have to appease and profit by; oh, how these matters wear into the gray matter of our brains!”
“Gray matter!” sez I, with my nose uplifted to its extremest height, “I should call it black matter!”
“Well, the name is immaterial, but these labors, though pocket filling, are brain wearing. And of late I and the rest of our loyal henchmen have been worn out in our labors in tariff revision. You know how we claim to help the common people by the revision; you’ve probable read about it in the papers.”
“Yes,” sez I coldly, “I’ve hearn talk.”
“Yes,” sez he, “but if we do succeed, after the most strenious efforts in getting the duty off champagne, green turtle, olives, etc., and put on to sugar, tea, cotton cloth and such like, with all this brain fag and brain labor—”
“And tongue labor!” sez I in a icy axent.
“Yes, after all this ceaseless toil the common people will not show any gratitude; we statesmen labor oft with aching hearts.” And he leaned his forward on his hand and sithed.
But my looks wuz like ice-suckles on the north side of a barn. And I stopped his complaints and his sithes by askin’ in a voice that demanded a reply:
“Can you and will you do Serepta’s errents? Errents full of truth and justice and eternal right?”