He said he knew they wuz jest runnin’ over with them qualities, but happy as it would make him to do ’em, he had to refuse owin’ to the fur more important matters he had named, and the many, many other laws and preambles that he hadn’t time to name over to me. “Mebby you have heard,” sez he, “that we are now engaged in making most important laws concerning moth-millers, and minny fish, and hog cholera. And take it with these important bills and the constant strain on our minds in tryin’ to pass laws to increase our own salaries, you can see jest how cramped we are for time. And though we would love to pass some laws of truth and righteousness—we fairly ache to—yet not havin’ the requisite time we are forced to lay ’em on the table or under it.”
“Well,” sez I, “I guess I may as well be a-goin’.” And I bid him a cool goodbye and started for the door. But jest as my hand wuz on the nub he jumped up and opened the door, wearin’ that boughten second-hand smile agin on his linement, and sez he:
“Dear madam, perhaps Senator B. will do the errents for you.”
Sez I, “Where is Senator B.?” And he said I would find him at his Post of Duty at the Capitol.
“Well,” I said, “I will hunt up the Post,” and did. A grand enough place for a Emperor or a Zar is the Capitol of our great nation where I found him, a good natured lookin’ boy in buttons showin’ me the Post.
VII.
“NO HAMPERIN’ HITCHIN’ STRAPS”
Well, Senator B. wanted to do the errents but said it wuz not his place, and sent me to Senator C., and he almost cried, he wanted to do ’em so bad, but stern duty tied him to his Post, he said, and he sent me to Senator D., and he did cry onto his handkerchief, he wanted to do the errents so bad, and said it would be such a good thing to have ’em done. He bust right into tears as he said he had to refuse to do ’em. Whether they wuz wet tears or dry ones I couldn’t tell, his handkerchief wuz so big, but I hearn his sithes, and they wuz deep and powerful ones.
But as I sez to him, “Wet tears, nor dry ones, nor windy sithes didn’t help do the errents.” So I went on his sobbin’ advice to Senator E., and he wuz huffy and didn’t want to do ’em and said so. And said his wife had thirteen children, and wimmen instead of votin’ ort to go and do likewise.
And I told him it wouldn’t look well in onmarried wimmen and widders, and if they should foller her example folks would talk.
And he said, “They ort to marry.”