“Then why don’t you obey your superiors?”
“Because I am in the right in this case. The orders are against the interests of my country and in violation of my charter.”
“You must obey!” Kerensky raised his voice to a high pitch, and his face was flushed with anger. “I order you to form a committee to-morrow, to treat the women courteously, and to cease punishing them! Otherwise I will get rid of you!” The War Minister banged his fist on the table to give emphasis to his words.
But I felt that I was right, so this fit of temper did not frighten me, but, on the contrary, strengthened my determination.
“No!” I shouted, bringing down my fist, too, “no, I am not going to form any committees. I started out with the understanding that there would be the strictest discipline in the Battalion. You can disband it now. A soldier I was and a soldier I shall remain. I shall go home, retire to a village and settle there in peace.” And I ran out, slamming the door angrily in the face of the astonished Minister.
In high agitation I returned to the Institute, and having assembled the women, I addressed them as follows:
“I am going home to-morrow. The Battalion will be disbanded, because I would not consent to form a committee. You all know that I had warned all the applicants previously that I should be a severe disciplinarian. I wanted to make this Battalion an example that would shine for ever in the history of our country. I hoped to show that where men failed women could succeed. I dared to dream that women would inspire men to great deeds and save our unhappy land. But my hopes are now shattered. The majority of the women who responded to my appeal proved themselves weak and cowardly, and they have wrecked my scheme for the salvation of suffering Russia. I have just come back from Kerensky. He told me that I must form a committee, but I refused. Have you any idea what a committee would mean?”
“No, no, Commander,” the women answered.
“A committee,” I explained, “means nothing but talk, talk, talk. The committees have destroyed the army and the country. This is war, and in war there should be not talk, but action. I can’t submit to the order to introduce in this Battalion the very system that has shattered our glorious army. So I am going home.... Yes, I leave to-morrow....”
The women threw themselves at my feet in tears. They wept and begged me to remain with them. “We love you. We will stand by you to the last,” they cried. “You can punish us, beat us if you will. We know and appreciate your motives. You want to help Russia and we want you to make use of us. You can treat us as you please, you can kill us, but don’t leave us. We will go anywhere for you. We will go to General Polovtzev and tear him to pieces!”