The host should never insist that one be served to any dish after it has been positively declined. To do this is a mistake no matter how kindly the intention. There is an old saying that one man’s meat is another man’s poison. If your host insists, however, on helping you after your refusal, you must for decorum’s sake accept the food but you need do no more than taste it.
At a formal dinner one is not served a second time to any dish, but at an informal dinner, what are called “second helps,” are quite permissible and convey a compliment to the hostess. When a plate is sent back to the carver for a fresh supply of meat, the knife and fork should be laid side by side upon it, not held in the hand, as some persons insist. And when one has finished eating, the knife and fork are laid in the same manner upon the plate, the tines of the fork up.
THE NAPKIN
The napkin must never be tucked into the neck of gown or shirt, nor must it be fastened to the belt or the waistcoat button. After one leaves the nursery one should be able to eat without a bib.
One of the characteristics of a well-appointed house is an abundance of fresh linen, including clean napkins, if possible, at every meal, certainly every day at dinner. A large napkin for dinner use is handsome, but it may be too large for convenience. No one wishes to be smothered by a “young table-cloth,” as some one has called these immense serviettes. Breakfast napkins are distinctly smaller than dinner napkins.
MINOR TABLE LAWS
At breakfast a blue and white service is often liked and is certainly pretty. At dinner the china may be as costly as one can afford. If the purse is limited, the plain white or gold-band is a good choice, making a quietly elegant appearance and being easily replaced.
In drinking coffee use the spoon to stir it slightly and to sip from, but never leave the spoon in the cup.