A rather surprising question sometimes asked is whether one should call after a dinner or dance invitation that has been declined. Certainly, the call should be made. One has been honored by one’s friends and the fact that one was prevented by circumstances from actually enjoying their hospitality makes no difference whatever with one’s responsibility for expressing appreciation.
A card with a message written on it fills many convenient social needs but it should never be used to take the place of a formal note. So employed it suggests haste and a degree of indifference that are contrary to the best breeding. The corners of cards are no longer turned down for any purpose.
If one, on calling, is told by the servant opening the door that “Mrs. Brown is not at home,” this does not mean literally that Mrs. Brown is of necessity out of the house, neither does it mean that the servant has been instructed to tell an untruth. “Not at home” is an accepted abbreviation for “Not at home to visitors.” There are those to whom the phrase will, however, always have a disagreeable ring, and if Mrs. Brown have more tact and originality than the conventions demand she will probably direct her maid to say instead, “Mrs. Brown is not receiving to-day. She receives on Mondays.”
WHO SHOULD CALL FIRST
Who calls first? The custom of residents calling on the newcomer is so firmly established in almost all communities that one may wonder at the question being asked. Yet in Washington—that is to say, in official Washington, this custom is reversed, and it is the newcomer who calls at the White House, on the vice-president, members of the cabinet, etc. In the case of the highest officials a return call is not expected but the courtesy is recognized by an invitation to some general reception.
CUSTOM IN SMALL TOWNS
The hours for calling vary according to the community one is in—though no afternoon call should be made before three o’clock. In small towns and villages where supper is eaten at six o’clock, one should not prolong a call after five-thirty. Evening calls in most American cities are usually made at eight o’clock or soon after, though in large eastern places where dinner is not served until seven, seven-thirty or eight, the nine o’clock call is not unusual.