If amusements have been planned for the guest, she will do her best to enjoy them, or, at all events, to show gratitude for the kind intentions in her behalf. She must resolve to evince an interest in all that is done, and, if she can not join in the amusement, give evidence of an appreciation of the efforts that have been made to entertain. The guest must remember that the hosts are doing their best to please her, and that out of ordinary humanity, if not civility, gratitude should be shown and expressed for these endeavors.
If the hostess be a busy housewife, who has many duties about the house which she must perform herself, the visitor may occasionally try to “lend a hand” by dusting her own room or making her own bed. If, however, she is discovered at these tasks, and observes that the hostess looks worried, or objects to the guest thus exerting herself, it is the truest courtesy not to repeat the efforts to be of assistance. It disturbs some housewives to know that a visitor is performing any household tasks.
It is safe to say that a guest should go home at the time set unless the hostess urges her to do otherwise, or has some excellent reason for wishing her to change her plans. To remain beyond the time expected is a great mistake, unless one knows that it will be a genuine convenience to the hosts to have one stay. The old saying that a guest should not make a host twice glad has sound common sense as its basis. If a visitor is persuaded to extend her visit, it must be only for a short time, and she must herself set the limit of this stay, at which time nothing must in any way be allowed to deter her from taking her departure.
THE NECESSITY FOR TACT
The visitor in a family must exercise tact in many ways. Above all she must avoid any participation in little discussions between persons in the family. If the father takes one side of an argument, the mother the other, the wise guest will keep silent, unless one or the other appeal to her for confirmation of his or her assertions,—in which case she should smilingly say that she would rather not express an opinion, or laugh the matter off in such a way as to change the current of the conversation.
Another thing that a guest must avoid is reproving the children of the house in even the mildest, gentlest way. She must also resist the impulse to make an audible excuse for a child when he is reprimanded in her presence. To do either of these things is a breach of etiquette.