DCLXIX.—BAD SPORT.
Mr. Hare, formerly the envoy to Poland, had apartments in the same house with Mr. Fox, and like his friend Charles, had frequent visits from bailiffs. One morning, as he was looking out of his window, he observed two of them at the door. "Pray, gentlemen," says he, "are you Fox hunting, or Hare hunting this morning?"
DCLXX.—MEASURE FOR MEASURE.
The amiable Mrs. W—— always insists that her friends who take grog shall mix equal quantities of spirits and water, though she never observes the rule for herself. A writer of plays having once made a glass under her directions, was asked by the lady, "Pray, sir, is it As you like it?"—"No, madam," replied the dramatist; "it is Measure for Measure."
DCLXXI.—A PROBABILITY.
Jonathan and his friend Paddy were enjoying a delightful ride, when they came in sight of what is very unusual in any civilized state now-a-days—an old gallows or gibbet. This suggested to the American the idea of being witty at the expense of his Irish companion. "You see that, I calculate," said he nasally, pointing to the object just mentioned; "and now where would you be if the gallows had its due?"—"Riding alone," coolly replied Paddy.
DCLXXII.—LEGAL ADULTERATION.
Several publicans being assembled at Malton, in Yorkshire, in order to renew their licenses to retail beer, the worthy magistrate addressed one of them (an old woman), and said he trusted she did not put any pernicious ingredients into the liquor; to which she immediately replied: "I'll assure your worship there's naught pernicious put into our barrels that I know of, but the exciseman's stick."
DCLXXIII.—VOX ET PRÆTEREA NIHIL.
"I wonder if Brougham thinks as much as he talks,"
Said a punster perusing a trial;
"I vow, since his lordship was made Baron Vaux,
He's been Vaux et præterea nihil."