DCLXXIV.—SALISBURY CATHEDRAL SPIRE.
A sexton in Salisbury Cathedral was telling Charles Lamb that eight people had dined at the pointed top of the spire; upon which Lamb remarked that they must have been very sharp set.
DCLXXV.—AN ACT OF JUSTICE.
Dr. Barton, being in company with Dr. Nash, who had just printed two heavy folios on the antiquities of Worcestershire, remarked that the publication was deficient in several respects, adding, "Pray, doctor, are you not a justice of the peace?"—"I am," replied Nash. "Then," said Barton, "I advise you to send your work to the house of correction."
DCLXXVI.—LISTON'S DREAM.
As Liston lay wrapt in delicious repose,
Most harmoniously playing a tune with his nose,
In a dream there appeared the adorable Venus,
Who said, "To be sure there's no likeness between us;
Yet to show a celestial to kindness so prone is,
Your looks shall soon rival the handsome Adonis."
Liston woke in a fright, and cried, "Heaven preserve me!
If my face you improve, zounds! madam, you'll starve me!"
DCLXXVII.—A VOLUMINOUS SPEAKER.
A well-known lawyer, Mr. Marryatt, who declared he had never opened any book after he left school but a law book, once told a jury, when speaking of a chimney on fire: "Gentlemen, the chimney took fire; it poured forth volumes of smoke! Volumes, did I say? Whole encyclopædias!" Mr. Marryatt is said to have applied for two mandami.
DCLXXVIII.—A SUGGESTIVE QUESTION.
Douglas Jerrold, discussing one day with Mr. Selby, the vexed question of adapting dramatic pieces from the French, that gentleman insisted upon claiming some of his characters as strictly original creations. "Do you remember my Baroness in Ask no Questions?" said Mr. S. "Yes, indeed. I don't think I ever saw a piece of yours without being struck by your barrenness," was the retort.