MXLVII.—NATURAL ANTIPATHY.
Foote having satirized the Scotch pretty severely, a gentleman asked, "Why he hated that nation so much."—"You are mistaken," said Foote, "I don't hate the Scotch, neither do I hate frogs, but I would have everything keep to its native element."
MXLVIII.—NOT NECESSARY.
"You flatter me," said a thin exquisite the other day to a young lady who was praising the beauties of his moustache. "For heaven's sake, ma'am," interposed an old skipper, "don't make that monkey any flatter than he is!"
MXLIX.—ASSURANCE AND INSURANCE.
Sterne, the author of the "Sentimental Journey," who had the credit of treating his wife very ill, was one day talking to Garrick in a fine sentimental manner in praise of conjugal love and fidelity: "The husband," said he, with amazing assurance, "who behaves unkindly to his wife, deserves to have his house burnt over his head."—"If you think so," replied Garrick, "I hope your house is insured."
ML.—CROMWELL.
One being asked whom it was that he judged to be the chiefest actor in the murder of the king, he answered in this short enigma or riddle:—
"The heart of the loaf, and the head of the spring,
Is the name of the man that murdered the king."