MLXXX.—GAMBLING.
I never by chance hear the rattling of dice that it doesn't sound to me like the funeral bell of a whole family.—D.J.
MLXXXI.—SWEEPS.
We feel for climbing boys as much as anybody can do; but what is a climbing boy in a chimney to a full-grown suitor in the Master's office!
MLXXXII.—SELF-CONCEIT.
Hail, charming power of self-opinion!
For none are slaves in thy dominion;
Secure in thee, the mind's at ease,
The vain have only one to please.
MLXXXIII.—JAMES SMITH AND JUSTICE HOLROYD.
Formerly, it was customary, on emergencies, for the Judges to swear affidavits at their dwelling-houses. Smith was desired by his father to attend a Judge's chambers for that purpose; but being engaged to dine in Russell Square, at the next house to Mr. Justice Holroyd's, he thought he might as well save himself the disagreeable necessity of leaving the party at eight, by despatching his business at once, so, a few minutes before six, he boldly knocked at the Judge's and requested to speak to him on particular business. The Judge was at dinner, but came down without delay, swore the affidavit, and then gravely asked what was the pressing necessity that induced our friend to disturb him at that hour. As Smith told his story, he raked his invention for a lie, but finding none fit for the purpose, he blurted out the truth: "The fact is, my Lord, I am engaged to dine at the next house—and—and——"—"And, sir, you thought you might as well save your own dinner by spoiling mine?"—"Exactly so, my Lord; but——"—"Sir, I wish you a good evening." Though Smith brazened the matter out, he said he never was more frightened.
MLXXXIV.—A GOOD INVESTMENT.
An English journal lately contained the following announcement: "To be sold, one hundred and thirty lawsuits, the property of an attorney retiring from business. N.B. The clients are rich and obstinate."