MLXXXV.—THE AGED YOUNG LADY.
An old lady, being desirous to be thought younger than she was, said that she was but forty years old. A student who sat near observed, that it must be quite true, for he had heard her repeat the same for the last ten years.
MLXXXVI—KEEPING TIME.
A gentleman at a musical party asked a friend, in a whisper, "How he should stir the fire without interrupting the music."—"Between the bars," replied the friend.
MLXXXVII.—ENTERING THE LISTS.
The Duke of B——, who was to have been one of the knights of the Eglinton tournament, was lamenting that he was obliged to excuse himself, on the ground of an attack of the gout. "How," said he, "could I ever get my poor puffed legs into those abominable iron boots?"—"It will be quite as appropriate," replied Hook, "if your grace goes in your list shoes."
MLXXXVIII.—NOT IMPORTUNATE.
Mrs. Robison (widow of the eminent professor of natural philosophy) having invited a gentleman to dinner on a particular day, he had accepted, with the reservation, "If I am spared."—"Weel, weel," said Mrs. Robison, "if ye're dead I'll no' expect ye."
MLXXXIX.—WITTY COWARD.
A French marquis having received several blows with a stick, which he never thought of resenting, a friend asked him, "How he could reconcile it with his honor to suffer them to pass without notice?"—"Pooh!" replied the marquis, "I never trouble my head with anything that passes behind my back."