MCIV.—SPARE THE ROD.
A schoolboy being asked by the teacher how he should flog him, replied, "If you please, sir, I should like to have it upon the Italian system—the heavy strokes up-wards, and the down ones light."
MCV.—POLITICAL SINECURE.
Curran, after a debate which gave rise to high words, put his hand to his heart, and declared that he was the trusty guardian of his own honor. Upon which Sir Boyle Roche congratulated his honorable friend on the snug little sinecure he had discovered for himself.
MCVI.—EPIGRAM ON A PETIT-MAÎTRE PHYSICIAN.
When Pennington for female ills indites,
Studying alone not what, but how he writes,
The ladies, as his graceful form they scan,
Cry, with ill-omened rapture,—"Killing man!"
MCVII.—DAMPED ARDOR.
Jerrold and Laman Blanchard were strolling together about London, discussing passionately a plan for joining Byron in Greece, when a heavy shower of rain wetted them through. Jerrold, telling the story many years after, said, "That shower of rain washed all the Greece out of us."
MCVIII.—ELLISTON AND GEORGE IV.
In 1824, when the question of erecting a monument to Shakespeare, in his native town, was agitated by Mr. Mathews and Mr. Bunn, the King (George IV.) took a lively interest in the matter, and, considering that the leading people of both the patent theatres should be consulted, directed Sir Charles Long, Sir George Beaumont, and Sir Francis Freeling to ascertain Mr. Elliston's sentiments on the subject. As soon as these distinguished individuals (who had come direct from, and were going direct back to, the Palace) had delivered themselves of their mission, Elliston replied, "Very well, gentlemen, leave the papers with me, and I will talk over the business with his Majesty."