MCCXX.—A FULL STOP.
A gentleman was speaking of the kindness of his friends in visiting him. One old aunt, in particular, visited him twice a year, and stayed six months each time.
MCCXXI.—FAT AND LEAN.
A man, praising porter, said it was so excellent a beverage, that, though taken in great quantities, it always made him fat. "I have seen the time," said another, "when it made you lean,"—"When? I should be glad to know," inquired the eulogist. "Why, no longer ago than last night,—against a wall."
MCCXXII.—SELF-CONDEMNATION.
Joseph II., emperor of Germany, travelling in his usual way, without his retinue, attended by only a single aide-de-camp, arrived very late at the house of an Englishman, who kept an inn in the Netherlands. After eating a few slices of ham and biscuit, the emperor and his attendant retired to rest, and in the morning paid their bill, which amounted to only three shillings and sixpence, English, and rode off. A few hours afterwards, several of his suite arrived, and the publican, understanding the rank of his guest, appeared very uneasy. "Psha! psha! man," said one of the attendants, "Joseph is accustomed to such adventures, and will think no more of it."—"But I shall" replied the landlord; "and never forgive myself for having had an emperor in my house, and letting him off for three and sixpence."
MCCXXIII.—NICKNAMES.
John Magee, formerly the printer of the Dublin Evening Post, was full of shrewdness and eccentricity. Several prosecutions were instituted against him by the government, and many "keen encounters of the tongue" took place on these occasions between him and John Scott, Lord Clonmel, who was at that period Chief Justice of the King's Bench. In addressing the Court in his own defence, Magee had occasion to allude to some public character, who was better known by a familiar designation. The official gravity of Clonmel was disturbed; and he, with bilious asperity, reproved the printer, by saying, "Mr. Magee, we allow no nicknames in this court,"—-"Very well, John Scott," was the reply.
MCCXXIV.—A CALCULATION.
After the death of the poet Chatterton, there was found among his papers, indorsed on a letter intended for publication, addressed to Beckford, then Lord Mayor, dated May 26, 1770, the following memorandum: "Accepted by Bingley, set for, and thrown out of, the North Briton, 21st June, on account of the Lord Mayor's death:—