| Lost by his death on this essay | £ 1 | 11 | 6 |
| Gained in elegies | 2 | 2 | 0 |
| Gained in essays | 3 | 3 | 0 |
| Am glad he is dead by | 3 | 13 | 6." |
Yet the evident heartlessness of this calculation has been ingeniously vindicated by Southey, in the Quarterly Review.
MCCXXV.—ON THE PRICE OF ADMISSION TO SEE THE MAMMOTH HORSE.
I would not pay a coin to see
An animal much larger;
Surely the mammoth horse must be
Rather an overcharger.
MCCXXVI.—NOTHING BUT HEBREW.
A Cantab chanced to enter a strange church, and after he had been seated some little time, another person was ushered into the same pew with him. The stranger pulled out of his pocket a prayer-book, and offered to share it with the Cantab, though he perceived he had one in his hand. This courtesy proceeded from a mere ostentatious display of his learning, as it proved to be in Latin. The Cantab immediately declined the offer by saying, "Sir, I read nothing but Hebrew!"
MCCXXVII.—A GOOD RECOMMENDATION.
When Captain Grose, who was very fat, first went over to Ireland, he one evening strolled into the principal meat market of Dublin, where the butchers, as usual, set up their usual cry of "What d'ye buy? What d'ye buy?" Grose parried this for some time by saying he did not want anything. At last, a butcher starts from his stall, and eyeing Grose's figure, exclaimed, "Only say you buy your meat of me, sir, and you will make my fortune."
MCCXXVIII.—QUID PRO QUO.
An Irish lawyer, famed for cross-examining, was, on one occasion, completely silenced by a horse-dealer. "Pray, Mr. ——, you belong to a very honest profession?"—"I can't say so," replied the witness; "for, saving you lawyers, I think it the most dishonest going."