A farmer having bought a barn in partnership with a neighbor who neglected to make use of it, plentifully stored his own part with corn, and expostulated with his partner on having laid out his money in so useless a way, adding, "You had better do something with it, as you see I have done."—"As to that, neighbor," replied the other, "every man has a right to do what he will with his own, and you have done so; but I have made up my mind about my part of the property,—I shall set it on fire."
MCCLXIII.—TWO CARRIAGES.
Two ladies disputed for precedency, one the daughter of a wealthy brewer, the other the daughter of a gentleman of small fortune. "You are to consider, miss," said the brewer's daughter, "that my papa keeps a coach."—"Very true, miss," said the other, "and you are to consider that he likewise keeps a dray."
MCCLXIV.—EXCUSABLE FEAR.
A husband, who only opposed his wife's ill humor by silence, was told by a friend that he "was afraid of his wife."—"It is not she I am afraid of," replied the husband, "it is the noise."
MCCLXV.—COLERIDGE AND THELWALL.
Thelwall and Coleridge were sitting once in a beautiful recess in the Quantock Hills, when the latter said, "Citizen John, this is a fine place to talk treason in!"—"Nay, Citizen Samuel," replied he; "It is rather a place to make a man forget that there is any necessity for treason!"
MCCLXVI.—A FLASH OF WIT.
Sydney Smith, after Macaulay's return from the East, remarked to a friend who had been speaking of the distinguished conversationalist: "Yes, he is certainly more agreeable since his return from India. His enemies might perhaps have said before (though I never did so) that he talked rather too much; but now he has occasional flashes of silence, that make his conversation perfectly delightful!"