The ferryman, whilst plying over a water which was only slightly agitated, was asked by a timid lady in his boat, whether any persons were ever lost in that river. "O no," said he, "we always finds 'em agin the next day."
MCCLXVIII.—A MILITARY AXIOM.
An old soldier having been brought up to vote at an election at the expense of one of the candidates, voted for his opponent, and when reproached for his conduct, replied, "Always quarter upon the enemy, my lads; always quarter upon the enemy."
MCCLXIX.—A FORCIBLE ARGUMENT.
That erudite Cantab, Bishop Burnett, preaching before Charles II., being much warmed with his subject, uttered some religious truth with great vehemence, and at the same time, striking his fist on the desk with great violence, cried out, "Who dare deny this?"—"Faith," said the king, in a tone more piano than that of the orator, "nobody that is within the reach of that fist of yours."
MCCLXX.—NOT TO BE DONE BROWN.
Dr. Thomas Brown courted a lady for many years, but unsuccessfully, during which time it had been his custom to drink the lady's health before that of any other; but being observed one evening to omit it, a gentleman reminded him of it, and said, "Come, doctor, drink the lady, your toast." The doctor replied, "I have toasted her many years, and I cannot make her Brown, so I'll toast her no longer."
MCCLXXI.—AN ODD NOTION.
A lady the other day meeting a girl who had lately left her service, inquired, "Well, Mary, where do you live now?"—"Please, ma'am, I don't live nowhere now," rejoined the girl; "I am married!"