MDXV.—A DREADFUL SUSPICION.
A gentleman leaving the company, somebody who sat next to Dr. Johnson asked who he was. "I cannot exactly tell you sir," replied the doctor, "and I should be loath to speak ill of any person whom I do not know deserves it, but I am afraid he is an attorney."
MDXVI.—A FAMILIAR FRIEND.
Sydney Smith was annoyed one evening by the familiarity of a young gentleman, who, though a comparative stranger, was encouraged by Smith's jocular reputation to address him by his surname alone. Hearing the young man say that he was going that evening to see the Archbishop of Canterbury for the first time, the reverend wit interposed, "Pray don't clap him on the back, and call him Howley."
MDXVII.—NO MUSIC IN HIS SOUL.
Lord North, who had a great antipathy to music, being asked why he did not subscribe to the Ancient Concerts, and it being urged as a reason for it that his brother the Bishop of Winchester did, "Ay," replied his lordship, "if I was as deaf as my brother, I would subscribe too."
MDXVIII.—PROFESSIONAL CANDOR.
A gentleman afflicted with rheumatism consulted a physician, who immediately wrote him a prescription. As the patient was going away the doctor called him back. "By the way, sir, should my prescription happen to afford you any relief, please to let me know, as I am myself suffering from a similar affection, and have tried in vain to cure it."
MDXIX.—TELL IT NOT IN ENGLAND.
Lady Carteret, wife of the Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland, in Swift's time, one day said to the wit, "The air of this country is very good."—"Don't say so in England, my lady," quickly replied the dean, "for if you do they will certainly tax it."