MDCL.—RECIPROCAL ACTION.
A very fat man, for the purpose of quizzing his doctor, asked him to prescribe for a complaint, which he declared was sleeping with his mouth open. "Sir," said the doctor, "your disease is incurable. Your skin is too short, so that when you shut your eyes your mouth opens."
MDCLI.—ACRES AND WISEACRES.
A wealthy but weak-headed barrister once remarked to Curran that "No one should be admitted to the Bar who had not an independent landed property."—"May I ask, sir," replied Curran, "how many acres make a wise-acre?"
MDCLII.—AN UNEQUAL ARRANGEMENT.
Two young Irishmen, wishing to live cheaply, and to divide their expenses, agreed the one to board, and the other to lodge.
MDCLIII.—A REASON FOR BEING TOO LATE.
Canning and another gentleman were looking at a picture of the Deluge: the ark was in the middle distance; in the fore-sea an elephant was seen struggling with his fate. "I wonder," said the gentleman, "that the elephant did not secure an inside place."—"He was too late, my friend," replied Canning; "he was detained packing up his trunk."
MDCLIV.—COOL AS A CUCUMBER.
Some one was mentioning in Lamb's presence the cold-heartedness of the Duke of Cumberland, in restraining the duchess from rushing up to the embrace of her son, whom she had not seen for a considerable time, and insisting on her receiving him in state. "How horribly cold it was," said the narrator. "Yes," replied Lamb, in his stuttering way; "but you know he is the, Duke of Cu-cum-ber-land."