MDCLX.—A SECRET DISCOVERED.
'T is clear why Twister, wretched rat,
Always abuses in his chatter:
He's truly such a thorough flat,
We can't expect to see him flatter.
MDCLXI.—INTERESTED INQUIRY.
An attorney-general politely inquired after the health of a distinguished judge. "Mr. Attorney," was the reply, "I am in horrible good health at present."
MDCLXII.—A BEARABLE PUN.
An illiterate vendor of beer wrote over his door at Harrogate, "Bear sold here."—"He spells the word quite correctly," said Theodore Hook, "if he means to apprise us that the article is his own Bruin."
MDCLXIII.—CITY GLUTTON.
The celebrated John Wilkes attended a City dinner not long after his promotion to city honors. Among the guests was a noisy vulgar deputy, a great glutton, who, on his entering the dinner-room, always with great deliberation took off his wig, suspended it on a pin, and with due solemnity put on a white cotton nightcap. Wilkes, who certainly was a high-bred man, and never accustomed to similar exhibitions, could not take his eyes from so strange and novel a picture. At length the deputy, with unblushing familiarity, walked up to Wilkes, and asked him whether he did not think that his nightcap became him. "O, yes, sir," replied Wilkes, "but it would look much better if it was pulled quite over your face."
MDCLXIV.—A PRETTY REPLY.
Lord Melbourne, inspecting the kitchen of the Reform Club, jocosely remarked to Alexis Soyer, chef de cuisine, that his female assistants were all very pretty. "Yes, my lord," replied Soyer; "plain cooks will not do here."