Jemima Placid; or, The Advantage of Good-Nature

by Mary Ann Kilner

Mrs. Placid, though in some measure recovered from her late indisposition, still continued extremely weak. The coach was therefore ordered to attend them early; and taking their leave of the company, they all returned home; when the young folk, after wishing them good-night, retired to-bed. The next morning at breakfast, Miss Piner began the conversation, by showing how awkwardly Mr. Speedmore had behaved, and what a cross gentleman she thought Miss Myra's uncle was.—I was so glad when the snuff made him sneeze and cough! said Miss Sally.—And, I am sure, he deserved it, said William; for last Sunday when we were coming home from church, he stood at the little gate in the church-yard with fat Mr. Stopway, and would not let Tom Gibbons pass; but took him by the shoulder, and shook him for being so rude, as to push his way between two gentlemen. And is that the cause, returned his father, that you rejoice so heartily at the inconvenience which he suffered? Why, my dear, you take Tom's affront sadly to heart; but so far from thinking it ill-natured of him to tell such a poor boy of a fault, I dare say, he intended it as a kind admonition; for Tom has not any body to instruct him in those common attentions of civility, which are necessary to recommend even a day-labourer to regard. And if Mr. Speedmore had the advantage of a friend to hint to him the use of politeness, it might have saved him from the censure of your cousin, who seems to have been quite astonished at the rusticity of his manners. That young man, continued he, has received no advantage from his education; his father having neglected to improve him in any thing but the sports of the field, in which his own time is entirely engaged, and to which he has brought up his son; so that you ought rather to compassionate his misfortune, than ridicule his defects; and from observing how unpleasing such a roughness of manners will make a person of a good disposition, learn to bestow greater assiduity in the cultivation of your own graces. But I am too apt to forget, Sir, said Charles, that though I always intend to mind your advice, and think it very just and reasonable at the time you are speaking to me, yet, when I pass by a gentleman, I frequently do not pull off my hat till he is out of sight and then I recollect it would have been more polite so to have done; and thus in other cases, I do not remember to attend when any body in company is addressing themselves to me; because I am busy, either in looking out of the window, or playing with something that is near me, and so they are obliged to speak several times before I hear they are talking to me. But you should take pains not to forget any thing that you are taught, replied Mr. Placid, or otherwise there will be no use in my taking the trouble to instruct you. I will tell you a story, Charles.

There was once a gentleman and a lady who had two children, a boy and a girl. They were somewhat like you; that is, were troubled with short memories: for although they were frequently told to hold up their heads, turn out their toes, and say, Sir and Madam; when they addressed any body, they constantly forgot to do it. Their papa was one day lamenting this negligence of his children to a person who paid him a visit, and who replied, that if he would trust them to his management, he would engage in a short time so deeply to impress it upon their minds, that they should ever after retain his instructions on their memory. To this proposal the gentleman very willingly agreed; and Master Ben and his sister Peggy accompanied their papa's friend to his house. As they were acquainted with the design of their visit, he addressed them the next morning in terms to this purpose:—As you well know what is expected from you, and have been fully instructed in the requisite attentions of polite behaviour, I shall hope you will observe them very minutely; and in order to remind you when you are forgetful, I shall keep this little spur in my hand; and whenever I see occasion shall take the liberty of applying it, which will give you a sharp degree of pain; and therefore, I dare say, you will take care to avoid it. Besides this, I shall, as opportunities arise, punish your neglect by the loss of your meals, or any thing else which I may think proper to deprive you of; and the sooner you remember to observe every thing which you are desired, the sooner you will return to your parents; with whom, if your memories remain sufficiently good to do as you are bid, you will continue; but whenever that fails you, they will turn you to my instructions. The young folk listened very attentively to this discourse, and promised obedience to his commands; in which promise their intention was to be sincere, and he caressed them accordingly. But, my dear Charles, little Ben soon forgot, that to loll his arms on the table at dinner-time was by no means consistent with good manners; upon which his new tutor applied his spur with such success to his elbows, that the smart he experienced, in a moment occasioned their removal. His sister had soon reason to sympathize with his misfortune from her own feelings; for as she had an ugly custom of drinking with her mouth full, and breathing in her glass, the reminding spur attacked her cheek so sharply, that the smart would not let her forget the cause which had given an opportunity for its use.

Another day she ate her breakfast with such immoderate haste, that the spur was applied to suggest the necessity of chewing her food more, and not swallowing it as if she was afraid of losing it; which in effect she did, for it was taken from her, because she cried at the pain which her monitor occasioned, without minding its admonition. When she sat cross-legged, she was surprised by the spur's touching her knee; and when she illiberally scratched her head, it attacked her fingers; when she stooped her head, she felt it in her neck; and, in short, was so continually tormented with its painful invasion, that she was obliged, as well as her brother (who was equally annoyed), to remember at all times to behave gracefully. When, therefore, they had acquired this necessary degree of attention, they were permitted to return home. They never forgot the useful admonition of the friendly spur; as on any occasion in which their memory proved defective, it was sufficient to tell them, they should return to the gentleman who kept it in his possession, and they immediately acted in a becoming manner. And do you not think, Charles, concluded Mr. Placid, that such a spur would be of infinite use to you, as you are so often apt to forget what it is of great consequence to remember?

Miss Piners smiled at each other, they being both conscious, as well as Master Placid, that they had frequent occasions for its use. Indeed, from this time, whenever any of them were guilty of any omission or neglect, they were apt to laugh at each other and call out, That the spur was wanting! By which means they frequently became more cautious than they would otherwise have been.

Jemima, whose natural sweetness of temper led her at all times to be obliging, very seldom afforded them an opportunity of applying the hint to her; but Miss Piners, who, as hath been before observed, were frequently very silly and ill-natured, often deserved a more severe reproof than to be told they stood in need of the spur.

One day, when Miss Sally came down stairs, she found Miss Placid seated at a table, making a pin-cloth for her wax-doll, in order to keep its frock clean, while her sister had taken possession of the middle of the window-seat, of which Sally begged to partake, and desired her to move a little farther, and make room for her, which Ellen very crossly refused.—Do pray, sister! said she, get another seat for yourself, for you cannot come here, I assure you!—There is room enough for us both, said Sally, and all the chairs are occupied. One has got a paper on it full of William's shells; another has a band-box with my aunt's gauze; and those two by the door, our dolls are asleep upon; you keep one employed with your work, and I must not take that, for it is the chair my aunt was sitting on, and I suppose she will want it again on her return.—I do not care, said Ellen; I tell you, I shall not let you come! so you may stand, if you like it, or go to the other window, cannot you?—But I want to be near the table! so pray do, returned Sally, endeavouring to squeeze herself into the seat; while her sister, putting her hand against the wainscot, kept her place with all the force she was mistress of; nor would give up an inch to the endeavours of Sally, who now likewise growing warm by opposition, exerted all her force to maintain the part she had gained; till at last she got pretty near the centre, without having indeed any considerable advantage; for both sisters were as close to each other as can well be imagined, each with an extended arm against the window-shutter, and pushing against each other with increasing anger and malevolence.

Jemima had kindly gotten up at the beginning of the contest, and made an offer of her chair to either of the combatants; but they were both so much displeased, that they paid no attention to her good-natured proposal; and, at length, Miss Ellen, to secure her situation, set her foot against the table, and, struggling with all her force, overset it, with every thing that was upon it, on the ground. Scissors, work bags, doll's clothes, gauze ribbons, and various other things, fell in confusion on the floor; among which number were a phial of physic and a China cup, in which Mrs. Placid was going to take a medicine which had been ordered for her, and which being broken in the fall, the draught was spilled among the before-mentioned articles. But the worst part of the accident remains still to be mentioned: poor Jemima's doll, which had lain before her to fit on the things she was making for it, was, in the disastrous fall, broken to pieces. She endeavoured in vain to catch it, but the overthrow of the table was too sudden for her to prevent it, and the noise of the affray brought Mrs. Placid, who had been up stairs to fetch some thread, into the room.