“Love for him,” I replied; and she continued, “Pshaw! That will come soon enough, depend upon it. There are many happy marriages where one of the parties had at first no particular affection for the other, as I myself can testify. I respected Mr. Lansing, when I married him, but I did not love him, and our union was, I am confident, far happier than three-fourths of those where love is the ruling motive, for in nine cases out of ten they grow sick of each other as faults and peculiarities are brought to light, of whose existence they had never dreamed. Take your own case for an example. Suppose you had married Dr. Clayton when you fancied him so much, you would undoubtedly have been disgusted with him by this time, whereas, now that you know he is fallible, you can safely link your destiny with his, feeling sure that in good time the love you once had for him will return.”
I knew there was some truth in this argument, but it failed to convince me, and I remained silent until Mrs. Lansing startled me with, “You do not of course love another?”
I was taken by surprise, and without a thought of the result, I answered “I do.”
“And that other?” she continued, fixing her eyes upon me.
I know not what possessed me, but a power I could not resist impelled me to answer, “Is your brother.”
She did not send me from her presence with scorn and loathing as I thought she would. Nay, she did not even speak, but for a time stood mute with astonishment. As I now recall that scene, I understand her better, and I know that the truth, just as it was, dawned upon her mind, and suggested the falsehood which she uttered.
Coming closely to me, she said, “I cannot see why it is that all my governesses have fallen in love with my brother, yet such is the case. I did think, Miss Lee, that you were an exception, but I find I am mistaken, which surprises me greatly, inasmuch as he has never paid you the slightest attention, and even if he had, I do not understand how you could think him in earnest. For years the world has looked upon his union with Ada as sure, and though for certain reasons I have sometimes opposed it, I am anxious for it now, and it is well that I am, for I suppose it is a settled thing.”
I held my breath for fear I should lose a single word of what she should say next. Perhaps she was unused to falsehoods. Be that as it may, her voice trembled slightly and she spoke hurriedly as she said, “They are engaged, and have been ever since she went to Mobile, and they will probably be married next autumn; hence, you see that the love you have presumed to feel for him would be useless, even were you his equal.”
She started to leave me, but turned back while she said, “I trust that what I have told you will be kept a secret, for Richard does not wish to have the matter discussed.”
I nodded assent, and the next moment I was alone with my sorrow, which was far easier to bear now that uncertainty was made sure. So long as there remained a lingering hope that my love for Mr. Delafield might possibly be reciprocated, I shrunk in horror from marrying another. But now that hope was swept away, for I never thought of doubting Mrs. Lansing’s word, and a kind of torpor crept over me, suspending for a time both my judgment and my will.