“I will marry Dr. Clayton,” I said, and with that decision came a feeling of gratified pride as I thought I should thus prove to Richard how little I cared for him!
Ah, I knew not then that the heart I coveted enshrined no image save that of “Rosa Lee,” for whom Richard Delafield would almost have lain down his life, so great was the love he bore her. He had readily divined the object of the stranger’s visit, and the thought that it might be successful was terrible. All the night long he, too, had been sleepless, pacing the length and breadth of his spacious halls and murmuring occasionally as, peering out into the darkness, he saw the glimmering light from the windows of Cedar Grove, “Oh, Rose, Rose, how can I give you up!”
Perhaps I am superstitious, but I cannot help fancying that as often as these words rang out on the midnight air, the shadow was over and around me. But alas! it faded and I was left to do the rash act I meditated. With the coming of morn Mr. Delafield grew calm, for he had resolved upon an interview with Rosa Lee, who, if it were not too late, should know how much he loved her, and perhaps (his heart thrilled with joy as he thought it), perhaps she might yet be won from that fancy of her childhood. But first he would if possible, learn from his sister how far matters had progressed. He had seldom imparted to her his secrets, but he would speak to her now, for he could not keep silent.
She was seated at her work in her own room, when he entered, and with a feeling of alarm at his pale, haggard face, she started up, asking if he were ill. Motioning her aside, he said, abruptly, “It’s of no use, Angeline, to deceive you longer. I love Rosa Lee, and if it were not for this accursed doctor, I should tell her so at once. Do you know aught of his attentions? Has he come to seek her for his wife?”
Mrs. Lansing had now a double part to perform. The falsehood she had told to Rosa, made it necessary that she should tell another to her brother, which she did more readily, for her proud nature revolted at the thoughts of receiving her governess as her sister-in-law. So, thinking any means excusable which would prevent so disgraceful a catastrophe, she answered with well feigned surprise, “I am astonished at you, brother—astonished that a Delafield should stoop so low as to think of wedding a girl like Rosa Lee. You cannot, I think, be in earnest; but if you are, I am rejoiced that I have it in my power to tell you there is no hope. I have just left Miss Lee, who has made me her confident, asking if I thought it would be contrary to all rules of propriety for her to marry Dr. Clayton so soon after the death of his wife. It seems he has always preferred her, and could you have heard her tell how much she loved him, I am sure you would have no hope of winning her, even were she your equal.”
The wicked woman paused, trembling at her own wickedness; while her brother, burying his face in his hands, groaned aloud. It was an hour of bitter trial, for Rosa Lee alone had touched his heart, and could he give her up just as he had found how dear she was to him? For a time the selfish nature of the man prevailed, and then there came a moment of calmer reflection: if Rose loved another, would it be right for him to mar her happiness by intruding upon her his affection? Should he not rather rejoice in knowing that she was happy with the man she had chosen, and if, henceforth, the world to him was dark and cheerless, might he not occasionally gather a gleam of comfort from knowing that no shadow was across her pathway! Thus he reasoned, and when his sister ventured at last to say, “You will not be foolish enough to talk with her,” he answered, “No—no—of coarse not;” then, with no visible sign of the fierce storm which had swept over him, save the extreme pallor of his face, he arose, and with a firm tread went back to his home, unconscious of the tear-wet eyes which followed his retreating footsteps, as from her window Rosa Lee watched him with a despairing heart and benumbed faculties.
Not again that day was Cedar Grove gladdened by his presence, and when next morning he came as was his wont, I was the betrothed of Dr. Clayton, who, with joy beaming in every look, sat by my side, talking to me of the pleasure we should experience in our projected European tour, for we were to visit the Old World, and he wished our marriage to be consummated at once, so we could sail the last of June. In a measure I had dealt candidly with him, frankly acknowledging that the love I had felt for him in childhood was gone, but saying, as was true, that I respected him—yes, liked him, and if he was satisfied with that, I would be unto him a faithful wife, hoping that the affection of former years might ere long awake again in my heart. And he was content to take me thus, blessing me for the utterance of words which had made him so happy.
Involuntarily I shrank from him, for I knew I was undeserving of such devotion, and my conscience smote me for withholding from him the knowledge of my love for Richard Delafield. But that was a secret I could not reveal, so I kept it to myself, and with a kind of apathetic indifference listened while he depicted in glowing colors the joyous future which he saw before him when I should be indeed his wife. He was going to New Orleans on business, which would detain him for three or four weeks, and on his return he asked that the ceremony might be performed, and I go with him to Meadow Brook as his bride.
“No, not so soon,” I exclaimed. “Leave me my freedom a little longer;” but he only smiled as he waived aside every objection and won from me a promise that if Mrs. Lansing were willing, we would be married there as soon as he should return from New Orleans, whither he would start the next night.
Either by design or accident, Mrs. Lansing herself at that moment entered the room, apologizing for the intrusion by saying she wanted a book which lay upon the piano. Having secured the volume, she was about leaving, when, glancing at the doctor, she playfully remarked upon the happy expression of his face, saying, she should judge his suit was progressing, and adding that he had her good wishes for his success. Emboldened by her familiarity, Dr. Clayton at once preferred to her his wish that we might be made one under the shadow of her roof; we would make no trouble, he said, as we wished for no display, simply a quiet ceremony at which no one should be present save herself, her children, and her brother!