Of her I may say, every talent given was duly improved; for she did not spare herself, but her strength, her time, and substance, she cheerfully devoted to the benefit of the souls and bodies of others; and as her prayers were very prevalent, so were her charities very extensive. Upon this subject, before I proceed, I feel it my duty to make one remark: I have heard some persons say, “O she was imposed upon.” But, as I knew her better than any person now alive, I must beg leave to affirm, that she was not the dupe of the designing; her good sense was equal to her piety, and her charities were conducted with such a degree of wisdom, that fraudulent cases, in a general way, were detected by her: though, whenever a doubtful case occurred, she would say, “it is better to be on the right side, and to give a trifle to an unworthy object, than run a risk of overlooking one that ought to be relieved.” Upon such occasions no doubt the worthless have sometimes partaken of her bounty, but never to any considerable amount. She was one of a thousand for economy; always sparing of expense upon herself, that she might have the more to give to the household of faith. She would often say, “God’s receivers upon earth, are, Christ’s church and poor.” When, I have proposed the purchase of some article of clothing for her, she would say, “is it quite necessary? if it is not, do not buy it; it will be much better to give the money to some of our poor neighbours, than to lay it out upon me.” Nor was this once only; it was invariably her conduct, and with great truth it may be said, that
“What her charity impair’d
She saved by prudence in affairs.”
She was always remarkably exact in setting down every penny she expended. She kept four different accounts, in which all she spent was included; these four were, the house, sundries, clothes, and poor. We have often at the end of the year been astonished to find the house expensed so small, considering how many had shared with us: at such times, she has said, “It is the Lord who has blessed our bread and water.” I have, in former years, taken up the book in which she kept her accounts, and wept over it, with the consideration, that I should one day probably have to settle it alone; and now I have drank of the bitter cup. A few days ago, I entered upon the work; and I think it right, as a confirmation of what I have before advanced, to state the difference between the expenses of her clothes, and what she had dispensed to the poor. On making up the account of her clothes, I found the whole year’s expenditure amounted to nineteen shillings and six-pence; this was every penny that had been laid out; on her own person, for the whole year. [27]
I then made up the poor’s account, and found the amount to be 181l 16s. 1d thus liberally had she dispensed abroad. But her desire of communicating comfort to the afflicted, was very extensive: I do not think she ever heard of a person in distress, but, if in her power to do it, she, by some means contrived to send relief. To comfort the distressed, was always a real comfort to her. With regard to this world’s wealth, it was no more to her, than dust in the balance. She has often said, and I am sure with great truth, “Gold is no more to me than dust; the gold of Ophir than the stones of the brook.” At another time she would say, “It is not so important what we have, as how we use it.” Indeed she was truly diligent, so to occupy with this and every talent, as to be always well-pleasing in the sight of the Lord.
Her love to every one was so abundant, that she was unwilling to find a fault in any one; but, ever desirous of casting the mantle of love over the failings of each, she would seek out the excellencies of those with whom she was concerned, and would find an excuse for the conduct of any, if the case would admit of it. And while her kindness was thus extensively manifested to all with whom she had any intercourse, her gratitude to others who shewed marks of love to her, was no less; for when her kind friends sent her any thing they thought would be acceptable, it was her study to think how she could return them an equal token of love; and if nothing was brought to her mind to do for them at the time, she would say, “Well, if I can do no more for them, I can pray for them:”—then would she fervently cry to the Lord, that he would repay them for her, and impart to them spiritual blessings for all the temporal good they had communicated to her. I never knew her sit down to partake of any thing that was the gift of a friend, without first praying for the donor. She would have thought herself very guilty to have omitted this, but it was a thing she made such a point of, that I do not think she ever forgot, even in one single instance.
And while her gratitude to the creature was thus evidently discerned, her praise and thanksgiving to the Creator was still more abundant. Never was any one more completely sensible of surrounding mercies, or more fully satisfied with divine appointments. She has for a long time lived in the spirit of praise, frequently saying, “What blessings has the Lord bestowed upon me! how comfortable has he made me in my old age; though I am left here, and my dearly beloved husband, and my Sally, my child, in glory, yet I know no lack; for how has the Lord fulfilled that word, given me so many years ago, God will make you a comfortable habitation. [30] And what a comfortable habitation has he made me! all is so suitable, every thing that I want; and such a loving people, I may well say I dwell among my own people: and that the Lord should bring you from a distance, first to be my spiritual child, and now my careful housekeeper, my tender nurse, my faithful friend.”
This was the way that in her common conversation she enumerated the mercies of the Lord; and as the close of life drew nigh, the spirit of praise increased more and more. Not quite three weeks before she was taken from us, she mentioned to some friends, a dream she had had many years ago. She dreamt she was going down a rough road, with a short wall by the side of it, which she leaned upon, and called the wall of salvation: all the light she had, while getting along with difficulty, was a twinkling star. She persevered to the end, but then found a mud-pond, which when she saw, she thought, well, if this is the way, I’ll plunge in; but while she was thinking to do so, in a moment of time, the twinkling star became a bright comet; and by the blazing light it gave, she discovered a clean narrow path by which she was instantly over, she hardly knew how. After our friends were gone, she said to me, “That dreamt came so powerfully to my mind, I could not help repeating it; it is being accomplished now.” Several times after that evening, she said to me, “I am going down the rough walk; this illness has been a long and painful one, but I lean upon the wall of salvation, and the comet will come.” She seemed to be assured, from the time this dream was so impressed upon her mind, that in an instant of time she should be removed from a state of suffering to an inconceivable blaze of glory, that would as much outweigh every spiritual enjoyment upon earth, as the comet in her sleep outshone the twinkling star.
Before this last three weeks of her life, in which such a striking application of her dream was made to her, the enemy had at times suggested what a state of suffering lay before her, if at the end of her affliction she should be long confined to a sick bed; or it might be that I may be so wearied by long fatigue, as not to be able to assist her in that helpless state; and to have had strangers about her would have been a most peculiar trial. But out of all this, how soon did the Lord deliver her: indeed the trial never lasted long, for she knew
“That as her day, her strength had been,”
and believed,