“Thy bounteous hand with worldly bliss
Has made my cup run o’er;
And, in a kind and faithful friend,
Has doubled all my store.”
She would often be crying to God for a blessing upon such and such particular souls; and all her relations, though so far from her in body, were to the last interested in her prayers: she would frequently plead with the Lord, that one day she might meet them all in glory. Ever after December begun, she was much inclined to doze, when the cough and the oppression upon her breath would allow her a degree of ease: this she would complain of, saying, “I lose my time; I want every moment to be spent in prayer or praise.”
One day, I think the 6th of December, when waking out of a doze, she said, “I am drawing near to glory:” and soon after, “There is my house and portion fair;” and again, “Jesus come, my hope of glory:” and, after a short pause, “He lifts his hands, and shews that I am graven there.”
On the 7th of December, taking my hand in her’s, she said, “My precious, my invaluable friend, I have prayed that light and wisdom may guide you in all, in every difficulty, and it will be so, I know it will; my prayer for thee is heard, my choice friend.” This afternoon Mrs. Harper called to see her, but finding her much inclined to doze, she soon left the room: when Mrs. Fletcher opened her eyes, and found she was gone, she said, “O! she’s gone, without a parting word; I should have taken leave of her.” As Mrs. H. was but just gone, I called her back: she then took her by the hand, and said, “May the Lord be abundantly with you, and your daughter; and I pray for your son too.” All this day, at every waking interval, she would be saying, “What mercies! Surrounded with mercies! how full of mercies I am!” All her soul seemed lost in love and praise.
The day following, the 8th, was as the day before, a day of praise for fullness of blessing; after saying, “What mercies I am surrounded with! the use of my hands, what a comfort! how different would it be if I was not able to help myself; and with how many this is the case, who have illnesses that take away the power of helping themselves with their own hands; but I can use mine, and what a mercy!”—then, affectionately looking at me, she continued, “and what a comfort art thou, my choice friend! and the love of Jesus, O how precious!” Mrs. Perks was this evening in the room with her, but she was too heavy to converse; on Mrs. Perks going, however, she came quite to herself, and said, “The Lord bless you, your partner, and children.” Mrs. Perks kindly offered to sit up, but she would never hear of any one sitting up with her till (she said) she felt the need of more help than I could give. My sister, also, was desirous of being in the room, but this she would not admit of.
All this day her breathing was exceedingly difficult: in the morning she had walked into the other room, as usual, with only the help of my arm; at the middle of the day she wished to go into the chamber again, and I led her, as at other times; but she was now weaker, and I could scarcely keep her from falling: I therefore asked her to sit down in a chair, which she did, and I wheeled her back again: with this she was much pleased, and said, the exercise had done her good. At dinner she eat a small bit of light pudding, with as much appetite as usual, but she had taken very little for some time. All the afternoon she was extremely ill, either hot to a great degree, shivering with cold, or very drowsy.
But through all, her mouth was full of the loving kindness of the Lord. She said she would not go to bed till after ten o’clock. We always prayed together before we went into the chamber, her breath being so greatly oppressed: she prayed very sweetly, but short, and then said, “Now you call upon the Lord; I can enjoy your prayer, though not able to speak:” I did so, and found an uncommon degree of liberty while pleading the gracious promises made to the people of God. When I had ended, she said it had been to her soul a peculiar time of enjoyment, while I was calling upon the Lord; and concluded saying, “O this has done me good.” In the afternoon, hearing that Dr. Yonge, (who has always shewn her the greatest attention,) was ill, she twice prayed particularly for him.
When we were ready to go into the chamber, and it was after ten, I got her into the chair, but she was now weaker than at noon; however I wheeled her to the bed side, and could not but look upon her as dying; and indeed so she considered herself, for when got into bed, she said, “My love, this is the last time I shall get into bed; it has been hard work to get in, but it is work I shall do no more: this oppression upon my breath cannot last long, but all is well; the Lord will shower down ten thousand blessings upon thee, my tender nurse, my kind friend.”
After these and many more kind expressions to the same effect, and having embraced her, and put all her things as usual, she desired I would make haste to bed. I entreated her to let me sit up, repeatedly saying, “Do let me watch with you this one night:” but with all the tenderness imaginable, yet with that degree of firmness which made me unwilling to urge the request further, she said, “Go to bed; you have done all for me you can do, and you know you can be with me in a moment if I want you; but if you sit up, it will make me uncomfortable: I cannot rest without you go to bed.” I told her I had a few things to do, before I could get into bed; she replied, “Then make haste and do them, for I want you in bed: I cannot rest till I know you are in bed.” After I had made all the excuses I could for remaining up, and looking upon her dear countenance as long as her kind concern for me would admit, she still urged my going to bed, and I therefore laid me within the bed-clothes, without taking my own off; and when she again put the question, “Are you my love in bed?” I answered “Yes:” she then said, “That’s right, now if I can rest I will; but let our hearts be united in prayer, and the Lord bless both thee and me.”
These were the last words her beloved lips uttered; for an hour after this, about one o’clock in the morning of December 9th, the noise her breath had so long made, ceased. I thought, is she dropped asleep? it immediately came to my mind, “Asleep in Jesus: see a soul escape to bliss.” I went directly to her bed side, where I found the beloved body without the immortal spirit, which had entered the realms of endless day. My feelings are not to be described; I clung to the casket of the saint, I knelt down by the side of it, and cried to him who had just now called home the spirit of my friend, that the mantle might rest on me. At length I thought I should injure her dear remains, if I did not call the family up; I therefore went and called my sister and the servant, at half past one; after which I sent for Mrs. Perks, who kindly came over immediately. I never left the chamber, while any thing could be done for her: I had promised to be with her to the last, and the Lord enabled me so to do.