I related to them the cause of our delay; for the muleteer was in such a condition that he had not courage to speak a word. These good men much pitied us: the last adventure appeared to them the most distressing, and one of these gentlemen took occasion to say: “God keep every honest man from three Holies that are at this time in Spain; viz. the holy Inquisition, the holy Brotherhood, and the holy Crusado. Especially, if he be innocent, God keep him from the holy Brotherhood: there may be some hope of justice with the two others, but all that can be said in favour of this latter is, happy are they who do not fall into its hands.”
The friar who had treated me with a sermon the day before, and who was quite upon the itch to be preaching again, managed to turn the conversation upon the vanities of the world, that he might take the opportunity of informing us we could look for none but false pleasures in this world, and that true pleasure is in heaven, where only it is to be found; that even such diversions as promise the greatest possible pleasure, are sure to be either accompanied or followed by some mortification or other. “Have you any objection,” added he, addressing himself to his comrade, “that I should relate to you a fable on this subject, which I think well worthy to be listened to? you will not be sorry to hear it.” At the same time, without waiting for his companion’s answer, he began in these words.
“Jupiter, not content with having created all things on earth for man, through an excess of love for them, sent the God of Pleasure, in early times, to reside here below, solely to make them joyful. But man, and more especially woman, attaching themselves to this new deity, whose attractions completely charmed them, resolved to look up to him only as their divinity; they believed that he was able to gratify all their wishes: thus, thinking that they could dispense with all the other Gods in Heaven, they began to forget them: no prayers, sacrifices, or victims, were offered up to any but the God of Pleasure. Jupiter, being the one most offended, felt this ingratitude of his creatures so sensibly, that he considered he ought to avenge himself on them, and called a council of the immortals to consult with them, fearing that he might be accused of having listened to nothing but his anger.
“All the Gods condemned this behaviour of man more or less, according to the sentiments that each entertained for them: the most good-natured amongst them represented to Jupiter that men were but men, that is to say, weak and faulty creatures, from whom he could expect nothing but imprudence and indiscretion; that, in their opinion, the Father of Heaven, instead of viewing their weakness with severity, ought rather to have pity on them than think of punishing them. Were we men, as they are, added they, we might conduct ourselves in the same manner, perhaps even worse; besides, consider what God it is that you have given them? see in what manner he uses them; he never leaves them, he flatters their desires, and enchants them with his seducing manners. You, on the contrary, are seen by them but seldom, and almost always with thunder in your hand, which frightens them; you ought not, therefore, to be surprised if they fear you more than they love you; they may hereafter, perhaps, reflect seriously upon their fault, and make atonement, as soon as they are informed how much their blind attachment to this divinity, has caused them to wrong the immortals, and particularly yourself.
“When the Gods, thus peaceably inclined, had thus remonstrated with Jupiter, Momus, who hated man, wished to give advice directly opposite; but he began in such free terms, that he was silenced, and told that he should be heard in his turn. The other Gods who were not better inclined towards the human race than Momus, did all they could to persuade the son of Saturn to extirpate mankind, alleging, that they were useless beings, for whom the Gods had no manner of occasion. Others, not so violent, thinking they gave admirable advice, recommended Jupiter to reduce such as had been culpable into dust again, and create others more perfect in their place, which would be an easy matter for him to do; upon which Apollo requested permission to speak, and, with that air of sweetness which has ever been attributed to him, addressed himself to the Father of the Gods in these words.
“ ‘Supreme Jupiter, full of love and goodness, thou art so justly irritated against man, that whatever cruel revenge you may be disposed to take on him, no inhabitant of Olympus will pretend to oppose thy will; it being not less the interest of all the Gods in general, than thine in particular, that mortals should not prove ungrateful for the favours and benefits they daily receive at our hands. Suffer me, however, to make it appear to you that if thou destroyest man, thou destroyest thine own work. This world, which thou hast created and embellished with a thousand wonderful things which thou hast bestowed upon it, will be no longer of any use, for we shall not any of us leave Heaven to reside there. If thou destroyest man to make a new race, that will do thee no honour, for it will rather be said that thou couldst not make thy work perfect in less than two trials: suffer, therefore, the human race to remain as it is; for it greatly concerns thy glory to maintain what thou hast created. Perhaps I may go so far as to say, that I do not think it would be to the honour of the Gods if men were without imperfection; if they were not weak and full of wants, what occasion would they have for our assistance?
“ ‘Nevertheless,’ continued he, ‘these ingrates ought to be punished; thou hast given them the God Pleasure, to whom they are too much attached; thou hast only, therefore, to oblige them to give up the idol, and send them down his brother in his room: thus thou wilt chastise them by the same means as they have offended thee; they will, I am convinced, soon acknowledge their fault, and have recourse to thy mercy to pardon their blindness; thou wilt then be fully avenged, and thou canst either forgive them or abandon them to the tyranny of their new divinity. This, great Jupiter! is what seems to me most becoming thy glory on this occasion; but the Lord of Heaven and Earth knows best what is fit to be done.’
“Apollo ceased to speak, and Momus, who was prepared with a discourse which his hatred for man had suggested, began to aggravate their offence; but he was but the dupe of his ill-will; all the other Immortals, who well knew his prejudice, rejected his advice, and agreed in opinion with Apollo. Agreeably to the decision of the celestial assembly, Mercury cut through the air in a moment, and descended upon earth, where he found man completely busied and charmed with the God Pleasure. No sooner did he begin to put in execution his orders to deprive them of him, than a general insurrection took place among the women as well as the men. Such fury was never known before; they ranged themselves round about their cherished deity, protesting they would rather die than be deprived of him.
“Mercury returned quickly up to Heaven, to inform Jupiter of this disorder, whose wrath towards man was increased by this intelligence; but Apollo, who always favoured them, interceded once more in their behalf so effectually, that he prevented the thunder from being hurled upon them. ‘Lord of Olympus,’ said he, ‘have pity on these poor weak creatures, and, instead of suffering your thunder to fall upon them, allow me to propose a milder method of bringing them to their senses: let us deceive them by a skilful trick, by withdrawing from them the God of Pleasure without their perceiving it, and placing under the same shape the God Dissatisfaction in his stead.’
“This stratagem was approved of, and Apollo himself undertook the execution of it. He descended upon earth with the God Dissatisfaction disguised, and found men and women all up in arms to protect their idol, whom they had placed in the midst of them; he dazzled their eyes and easily made the intended exchange; after which, he returned to the Immortals again, to enjoy with them the trick that he had just played upon mankind, who from that time, believing themselves still to have Pleasure among them, have sacrificed to his brother, without knowing it, in his place.”