All the ladies, however, were not disposed to laugh at my extravagant airs; there were even some among them completely charmed by my manners; for, without any offence to women in general, it may, undoubtedly, be asserted, that there are always many of that sex for whom the most impertinent coxcomb is as exactly a match as if he had been made on purpose. Amongst others, I had the happiness to please two beautiful women who could not refrain from letting me know it. The passion of the one was created by my looks and grimaces; but as to the favourable sentiments of the other, I could attribute them only to my stars. The first of my two conquests was a lively looking woman, who had something roguish in her eye, and a pleasing face. I ogled her like a novice, and she seemed by no means displeased; for women always prefer apprentices in this art to their masters. She returned my tender glances, which encouraged me to follow her after Mass, that I might know where she lived. She walked very slowly, to shew me that it would not be her fault if I let her escape, and I soon came up with her, and now and then as I walked behind her whispered some soft things to her as well as I was able at my age. She made no reply, yet now and then turned her head round, looking at me in such a manner as persuaded me that she dared not speak for fear of the Duenna by whom she was accompanied.
We at length came to a narrow street near St. Cyprian’s Church where she lived. In entering her house, she bowed her head to me to let me see that she was not displeased at my having followed her, and did not forget to dart an amorous look at me, which filled me with love and hope. I took particular notice of her house, intending to return without fail that very day to shew myself before her windows. I then took the way towards my Inn again with hasty steps.
I no sooner got into another street, than a sort of waiting-woman with a long thick veil thrown over her, accosted me as I passed along: “Signor Cavalier,” said she, “I beseech you to follow me; I wish to communicate something of consequence to you.” I did not hesitate a moment, but followed her until we both stopped under a large open gateway, when, seeing that nobody could hear us, she addressed me thus: “Charming stranger, your appearance is so handsome and prepossessing, that you will not be surprised when I tell you that a lady of quality who has seen you at church, is quite enchanted and captivated by your elegant person, and wishes to have a private conversation with you. This lady is newly married, and so beautiful that ... but,” added she, breaking off suddenly, “I will say no more; I must let you form your own opinion when you see her.”
I swallowed this bait most greedily, and could scarcely restrain the pleasure that I felt. Affecting, however, to appear modest, I answered, that I knew not in what terms to acknowledge the honour that her mistress had conferred on me; that I did not doubt she was a person of the first quality, and that, therefore, I was most anxious to wait upon her, and throw myself at her feet to thank her for her good opinion of me. “Signor,” said the Confidante, “it will be dangerous to think of seeing her at her own house, for she has a jealous husband: but tell me where you lodge, and I will engage that to-morrow morning at farthest, you shall have an interview with her in your own apartments.” I gave her my address, and she immediately departed to rejoin her Mistress, who, she said, was waiting impatiently to know whether she had reason to thank Dame Fortune, or to reproach her.
I now found myself engaged in two love-intrigues; but I felt most inclined towards the first; not that I was displeased with the second, for it was most flattering to my vanity. “What an advantage it is,” thought I, “to be handsome! no sooner have I made my appearance at Toledo, than two ladies, apparently of the first quality, are already in love with me. What must be the consequence, then, if I stay here long? I shall undoubtedly captivate all the women in the City.” I returned to my Inn full of these pleasing thoughts, which, however, did not prevent my eating a very hearty dinner; after which I sallied out again as soon as I was able without being incommoded by the heat of the sun, and flew towards St. Cyprian, where I paced up and down before the windows of the house into which my first mistress had entered. Not so much as the shadow of a woman, however, was to be seen; notwithstanding which I loitered about until it was quite evening, and my perseverance was at length rewarded. I saw one of the lower windows half opened, which I approached, and in a nymph, who presented herself to my eyes in an undress, I recognized my Princess, who told me, with considerable agitation, that her neighbours, who were a tattling set, would suspect something, and besought me to remain no longer in the street, but to retire for some time, and return in about two hours; that there would be nobody in the house but herself and servants, and that if I pleased, we might then sup together. I was overjoyed at this invitation, which I accepted by kissing one of her hands with an air of tenderness, and at the same time requested that I might be permitted to contribute my dish towards the supper. “That is by no means necessary,” answered the lady; “but as what I have in the house may, possibly, not be to your liking, you can do as you please in that respect.”
As soon as we had settled these preliminaries, I departed for fear of attracting the attention of the neighbours, and thereby destroying the happiness in store for me, and rejoined my page, whom I had ordered to wait for me at the top of the street, and gave him some money, desiring him to procure me a fine pullet nicely dressed, two partridges, a rabbit-pie, four bottles of excellent wine, and some of the choicest fruits. All this was ready, and sent at nine o’clock precisely, and I soon followed, was received by my nymph in the kindest manner, and conducted by her into a neat chamber where she usually slept, with a handsome bed in it, and I could not help observing under a sort of pavilion made with rose-coloured taffeta, a large tub, in which I supposed the Signora occasionally bathed herself. The table was spread here, and the sideboard decorated with my bottles and fruits. I was well pleased at the sight of these preparations, which seemed to promise me an agreeable evening, and could only have wished that my lovely hostess had been in better spirits; for, in spite of her endeavours to affect gaiety, I plainly perceived that she was uneasy from some cause unknown to me.
“My charmer,” said I, “allow me to ask the cause of that sadness which is so evidently depicted on your countenance, and which it is in vain for you to endeavour to conceal.” “Fair stranger,” answered she, sighing, “since I have not been able to conceal my mortification from you, I confess that I am much vexed at some unseasonable news I have just received. My brother, on whom I am entirely dependent, who has been to Court to solicit preferment, has just returned to Toledo; I would have given you notice of this before, had I known where to send to you; nevertheless,” added she, “as he is now gone to sup with a lady of whom he is enamoured, I do not expect him home before midnight. We may at least have the satisfaction of supping, and conversing together; and I have the consolation to add that he will return to Madrid in a day or two, to stay there three months. I should otherwise be inconsolable at his arrival; for he is a man of the most violent temper, and most punctilious in affairs of honour. You cannot conceive what a prisoner I am when he is at home; but, thank God, we shall soon be free from him for some time to come.” This discourse of hers somewhat moderated my joy; the unforeseen return of a brother, and one of his disposition, appeared no laughing matter to me. I felt very far from comfortable, and, to speak truth, was sorry that I had not had notice of it before. For although I was not one of the greatest cowards, yet I had much rather have been obliged to fight in a street than in a house, where I must of necessity defend myself, or lose my ears. As, however, the evil was now without remedy, I considered myself called upon to shew my courage and resolution. I entreated the lady, therefore, to have the supper served up at all events, adding with an air of intrepidity, that if her brother came in and interrupted us, he might choose what proceeding he pleased, but whichever he adopted towards me, he should find that he had to do with one who would be at least his match. The supper was then brought in, and we sat down together; but at that instant we heard a loud knock at the door. “O Heavens!” cried she, rising from her seat as though she was ruined; “that must be my brother,—what will become of me?”
You will perhaps imagine, that to support the bravery of which I had just boasted, I prepared courageously to receive the disturber of our pleasures as I had resolved; but, on the contrary, I was so surprised and terrified at his return, that I thought of nothing but preserving myself from his fury, and was going to creep under the bed; but the sister, considering that I should be safer in the tub, thrust me into it, and covered me with a carpet. Unfortunately for my laced coat this tub was wet and dirty, independently of which I was much cramped, and very far from being at my ease in it.
In the mean time the door was opened to this cursed brother, who had no sooner entered the chamber, than, astonished, or pretending to be so, at finding the table and sideboard so well set out, he remained for some moments without speaking a word; but at length breaking silence; “What means all this preparation, sister?” said he, in an imperative tone; “have either of us been married to day, or for whom is this entertainment meant?” “For you only, whom I have been anxiously expecting,” replied the trembling nymph. “It is something new,” continued he, “to treat me with this ceremony. You cannot pretend that it was to celebrate my return from Madrid, for I sent you word that I should sup in the city.” “True,” replied the lady, “but you well know, that you have often come and surprised me after having told me the same thing; and, if you recollect, you have sometimes been angry that I have not prepared a supper for you.” “I am by no means satisfied,” replied the brother, “and I fear much that our neighbours’ slanders are but too well founded. For a lady of quality you are not sufficiently circumspect in your behaviour. You are well aware of my delicacy on that point, therefore be cautious of taking any steps which may wound my feelings; but,” added he, “let us sit down to supper. I am willing for this evening to put the best interpretation on your intentions.”
At these words he seated himself at the table, and they both fell to upon my unfortunate supper. As for him, he kept grumbling all the while he was stuffing at my expence, and his sister could not utter a single word but what put him into a passion. He cursed and swore, and whenever she ventured to contradict him in any thing, he seemed almost mad with rage, called her every vile name he could think of, and seemed ready to knock her down. Two or three times in the course of their repast, I ventured to lift up a corner of the carpet with which I was covered to take a peep at this terrible fellow; but I was so afraid that he would see me that I dared not take a full view of him.